Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Witch Trial
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.29.1999
Credits. Owen's had a year to get adjusted to Aaron Spelling appropriating a Smiths' song for one of his schlockfests, but it's still very chafing. From the credit montage we learn: Charmed is set in San Francisco, and each sister has a different passive aggressive power. Prue is telekinetic, and now uses her hands instead of the stink eye to move things around. Piper can cause temporal stasis, as if this show needed to move any slower. And Phoebe's psychic. Try the Powerpuff Girls if you want to watch females kick ass tonight.
Endless establishing shots of San Francisco, trying to convince us that the series isn't really filmed on a backlot in L.A. Halliwell Manor. The sisters are straightening up the attic while still wearing their bedclothes. Phoebe is knocking on the wall the demon came from, and bemoans that the demon "came out of nowhere, and went back into nowhere," as do all guest stars on this show. Piper the brain surgeon adds that whatever it was took the BoS with it. Yes, Piper, we know, we were there. The sisters wonder why such a powerful demon didn't kill them. Phoebe thinks he just didn't want to take on Prue. Prue gets her back up and asks what she means. Phoebe thinks the Power of One means Prue's power, because it's the strongest. Prue: "Says who?" Phoebe: "Says every demon or warlock we've come across." Piper agrees, and wonders how they can find the demon. Phoebe the Rhodes scholar declares that they need to do something fast, because he has the BoS (We know! We know!) and without it, they're "not the Charmed Ones anymore." Care faces all around. The doorbell rings. Prue still nonplusing.
Phoebe runs downstairs and answers the door. Little Waif Girl is there, asking, "Can I use your phone please?" Phoebe holds her off with, "Actually ..." Waif Girl pleads, "Please? Please? It's an emergency!" Phoebe lets her in, and the girl makes a beeline for the phone, doing a dead-on impression of the woman Molly Shannon played on Seinfeld who walked without swinging her arms. The hard P's enter and Piper asks Phoebe if she's out of her mind. Phoebe protests. Greasy Bohunk from Malibu Shores enters the foyer, calling, "Jenny? Jenny? Talk to me!" The Halliwells in unison: "Wow." Heh. Waif Girl asks for the international operator to connect her with Saudi Arabia.
Prue expresses alarm. Greasy Bohunk apologizes for the brat and explains that they've just moved in next door and their phone's not hooked up yet. Phoebe the nuclear physicist inquires, "So you're our new neighbors?" Greasy Bohunk's name is "Dan, Dan Gordon." Waif Girl screams, "I don't care if it's busy! I have to talk to my mom!" Owen's heart goes out to the International Operator, who's probably wishing she could spray some Pubescent-Girl-B-Gone into her headset. Dan says that the brat is his niece Jenny, "who's obviously not speaking to me." Jenny slams the phone down and stomps out of the manor. Dan apologizes for her and follows. Piper closes the door. Phoebe declares that she saw him first. Piper: "Demons now, drooling later." Heh. Prue turns to get dressed to go the auction house. Phoebe as usual complains about Prue going to work while "the scariest demon they've ever come across" has the BoS. Prue just walks away. Phoebe asks Piper what's the big. Piper thinks it's because of the "first demon Prue's faced since Andy's death." Care faces times two.