Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT SPARKLE, Phoebe, SPARKLE! (Part I)
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.27.2003
And am I right, or am I right? Over in another corner of the city, Darryl muscles a handcuffed, mouthy Chinese gangsta into the back of his car as Phoebe and Raige rather obviously orb in nearby. It all happens in an alleyway, sure, but this one's Neon-Lit! And Inviting! The bastards. Now, where the hell was I? Oh, yeah: Darryl, pulling his apoplectic-with-stuttering-disbelief thing, hustles the Ps over to a corner, wondering loudly what the hell they think they're doing. The gals explain the Dolt sitch and ask for his help. Darryl immediately agrees, so Phoebe perks, "Great! We just need to borrow your soul for a couple of hours." Darryl's decidedly nonplussed. "It's perfectly safe!" Phoebe insists. "Your body will slip into a coma, and as long as we get your soul back in time, you'll be fine! Just a little headache, that's all. Whaddya say?" Gotta admit -- La Milano's delivery here is rather amusing. Still not too fond of the hair, though. Darryl quite naturally demurs and wheels on his heel to storm away, tossing a snicker-worthy hissyfit the entire time. Raige whomps his retreating back with a bottle of something that knocks his body to the ground. Darryl's oblivious soul carries on ranting down the alleyway. Heh. "Darryl?" Raige interrupts hesitantly. Incorporeal Darryl spins back around. Raige wrinkles her nose and points to his comatose body on the concrete. "Oh, that's just great," pouts Incorporeal Darryl. Hee! More Darryl, please, especially if you intend to keep slinging him into tight black t-shirts. In the meantime, Phoebe uncorks a vial, captures Darryl's soul, and mutters, "I hope this works," as she and Raige exit the frame.
Bridal Boudoir. I suppose I'll have to come up with a new name for Piper's bedroom now that she's divorced, huh? Big Gay Chris gently fastens the purloined pendant around his brain-fried mother's neck and assures her, "Just remember everything I told you, and you'll be fine." A golden flare erupts from Piper's body, and her matronly togs morph into suede Warrior Princess Valkyriewear. Raige orbs in behind them with Phoebe, and the new arrivals immediately howl in dismay. "What did you do to Piper?" splutters the Feebs. "I turned her into a Valkyrie, and convinced her she's one, too," Chris explains, adding, "It wasn't that hard, really, considering the fact that her mind is basically a blank." Raige glares. Hee. Chris vows they'll need the Power of Three to bust Stumpy the Dolt out of his prison -- a prison fashioned from bamboo, mind you -- and, given her current state, having Piper believe she's really a Valkyrie is the best way to ensure that the Power of Three arrives safely on the Isle Of Dykes. "If Piper ever gets her memory back, she's going to kill you," Phoebe smirkily insists. "She hates wearing those costumes as much as we do." SO STOP WEARING THEM ALREADY.