Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Box, Part I
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.19.2002
Will-age approaches his desk and sees a plain manila envelope on his chair. Jennie picks up Will's phone and tells him that there's a guy on the phone with a totally nasal voice. She also gives him some random article assignment. Like we care. Will-age picks up the phone, and Deep Throat informs him that there's something in the envelope that will make Ken Olin -- oops, I mean "David McNeil" -- talk. Will-age doesn't want to make Ken Olin talk. Deep Throat taunts Will-age by saying, "You said you didn't scare easily." "Well, if you're so brave," squeaks Won't, "how 'bout losing the voice box and telling me your name." Deep Throat doesn't respond, and Won't directs him not to call again and hangs up the phone. He picks up the envelope and tosses it into the garbage.
Realm Of Shovelhead-Powered Terrorist Action. Shovelhead and the black clad Fun-Lovin' Criminals charge through the offices with breathing apparatuses shoved in their mouths. Yes, they should have their noses covered too. No, it doesn't make sense. Yes, I'm moving on now…Shovelhead looks even more ridiculous with that machine sticking out of his face. And what is UP with his haircut? Seriously. I've seen better hairlines on a fracture. Is this the show of Enormous Foreheads, or what? First Sydney, then Vaughn, now Shovelhead? Is that how they cast this thing? "So, you've trained with Stella Adler, you speak three languages, you're a black-belt in karate, and…yes! You have a forehead that can be used as an advertising billboard! You're hired!"
After removing the breathing apparatus, Shovelhead checks his watch and informs the FLCs that they're five minutes ahead of schedule. "Get 'em locked up, baby!" he shouts as several FLCs proceed to tie up the unconscious SD-6 employees. He instructs one of the FLCs to secure the elevator and walks over to the Wicked Cool Asian Chick FLC, who's typing away at a laptop. "You jammin'?" he asks. "I'm jammin'," she says. Shovelhead loudly kisses her on the top of her head. WCAC FLC makes a mental note to delouse her hair just as soon as this mission's over.
Vaughn's Office Of Internal Turmoil. Vaughn's brooding at his desk. Agent Sean enters and asks him if he wants to go get a pizza. Vaughn declines. Agent Sean walks over to his desk and just leans on it, waiting for Vaughn to talk. "Sydney wants to quit SD-6," says Commander Stupid (tm flipflop). "Which, she knows, she just can't do." Vaughn turns and launches into his whole "my daddy's dead and all I got was this wrinkly forehead" speech. Agent Sean resignedly parks it and wonders why in the HELL he even bothered to enter Vaughn's office in the first place. "You really want some space?" Agent Sean asks when there's a break in Vaughn's narrative. "Or are you and I gonna go get drunk?" Hee! More Agent Sean! More Agent Sean!