Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ms. Hellfire
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.12.2000
Bane’s office. A big clock shows that it’s three minutes until midnight. Barabas threatens to kill Bane if Prue doesn’t return soon. Prue struts in, wearing that ridiculous Cruella DeVille coat over her black bra again. The docile Ps (natch) follow. Barabas orders Bane to shoot the Halliwells. Piper freezes them. Phoebe scopes Antonio Sabato, Jr. out, and is "beginning to see [Prue’s] attraction to the dark side." Prue: "It wasn’t just his dark side I was attracted to [sic]." Huh? Phoebe starts feeling Bane’s biceps up. Personal gain, much? Prue asks Piper to just unfreeze Bane. Phoebe takes away his, ahem, gun and Bane comes to. Bane: "What’s going on?" Prue: "Witchcraft at its best." Bane: "Y’all rented The Craft?" Actually, Bane just tries to run, and Prue throws him against the wall. Barabas comes unfrozen and the clock strikes midnight. He spins around and disappears in faux F/X flames. Phoebe: "I never get tired of kicking his butt." Perhaps that’s because you didn’t kick his butt, babe. Piper and Phoebe hug for some reason. Prue struts over to Bane and blathers about this experience giving him "something to think about in jail." What the? Jail? As if! Prue’s the only one who killed anyone this episode. Nonetheless, Bane says "that’s not the only thing [he’ll] think about." Word. I’m sure Bane and his cellmates will laugh about his descriptions of La Femme Brinda’s outfits for the duration of his sentence. Prue, with her bitch on as if she hadn’t been vamping him the whole episode: "Is that a threat?" Bane: "That’s a compliment." Whatever!
Halliwell Manor. The next morning. In a burst of energy to rival Ms. Hellfire’s slaying of nine witches in eight hours, Dan and his crew have replaced all of the broken stained-glass windows in one night. Phoebe and Piper are wiping down said windows. Phoebe asks Piper if she’s going to shack up with Dan. Piper says that she’s tempted. Phoebe says she wants Piper’s room if she leaves. Piper declares that she’s staying at Halliwell Manor. Phoebe is pleased. She baby voices, "Ooo good, becauth oo hafta be wif yowah thithtas jus a widdle wile longa!" Piper blathers about having to "think some things out" before she can move in with Dan. She asks if Pheebs is happy about this. Phoebe says she’s "duh-lee-wee-us" and jumps on Piper’s lap to be coddled and burped. Prue struts into the sunroom in a sedate beige print wrap dress. She expositions on the cell phone with Darryl about giving M. Steadwell some of Ms. Hellfire’s jewelry to pay for her store that was destroyed in the explosion. She protests that the jewelry "is not hot" and hangs up the phone, although it really is "hot" BECAUSE SHE KILLED MS. HELLFIRE AND STOLE IT. Phoebe asks what else Prue got from Ms. Hellfire. Prue blathers about jewelry from Bane and paintings by Dali and Hockney. Piper, to her credit, reminds Prue that she can’t keep all of the stuff. Prue says she has an idea about what she can do with it -- save her job. She provides the Lesson of the Day about what she learned by becoming Ms. Hellfire: She needs to "change her routine, shake things up a bit." This makes the docile Ps laugh. Hmm, I for one think that Prue should shake her things a little less. The doorbell rings. I almost fall off my chair because PRUE ANSWERS IT while Piper’s still pinned down nursing Baby Phoebe before naptime. It’s Jack in an ugly black pleather blazer, bitching about Prue abandoning the auction house project. What does Prue have to say for herself? Prue brags about a $275,000 market value estate donation she acquired, not mentioning how SHE MURDERED SOMEONE TO GET IT. She adds that the donor stipulated that all proceeds go to the "Stop the Violence" foundation, so I guess that makes it all right in Prue’s moral universe. Jack is pleased. He says "he never doubted her for a moment." Prue calls him "a liar." They smirk at each other. Okay, here’s badinage. Three states over, well, that’s where these two are. Prue takes Jack out to celebrate. The Flute of Whimsical Denouement warbles. End.