Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Right Round Like A Record Baby
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.21.2009
On the island, at the beach: Bernard and Rose bicker as they try to start a fire. They're interrupted by a scoffing, actual Redshirt Rose refers to as Neil. She tells him they're focusing on what they can control and he can either help out or shut up. I love her like cookies. From the background, still shirtless Sawyer holds up a shirt, and asks whose it is. Neil the heel replies that it's his. When Sawyer asks if he can have it, a million fangurlies scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" but the boys don't listen. Neil merely whines about it not mattering since they'll all be dead by sundown. Speak for yourself, Redshirt. Sawyer says, "I'll take that as a 'yes', Frogurt." He covers up his pretty, pretty half-nekkidness, while Frogurt whines, "That's Neil.."
No-longer-shirtless Sawyer approaches Juliet, who's examining the little life raft motor boat thingie. Oh man, what's it called? You know what I mean -- the thing Daniel was using to ferry people to the freighter. Anyhow, they wonder why it didn't poof away when everything else did, so Juliet decides that whatever they had with them during the "move" is along for the ride. Okay, then, so why is the camp (and all the supplies) missing? Oh crap, my nose is bleeding, my head hurts and suddenly can't remember my mother's maiden name. Is that significant? Nobody cares about me, because they spy Daniel wandering out of the jungle. While he greets Miles and hugs Charlotte, Juliet and Sawyer approach him. Sawyer says, "Welcome back, Dr. Wizard." When Miles corrects that it's "Mr. Wizard," all he gets for his troubles is a "Shut up." Daniel obfuscates about his two-hour disappearance by babbling on about his backpack and getting lost. We don't care, because we know he's dissembling. Sawyer doesn't care, because Daniel's a nerd and Sawyer's a punk -- he just wants to know when they're going flash again. When Daniel confesses he doesn't know, Sawyer demands to know if he's got a plan.
Juliet suggests they take the Zodiac -- BLESS YOU, JULIET! I've been trying to remember the name of that damned motorized life-raft thingie for about 69 minutes. Anyhow, she thinks they should take it and head out to a shipping lane. Daniel shuts down that idea. They can't just sail out without a bearing and in order to calculate it, Daniel has to figure out where they now are -- in time. When Charlotte asks what the rest of them should do, Miles says he's going to find them something to eat. Juliet wants to know how he'll do that, but he brushes her off, because he can't really explain that he's Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense. Juliet and Sawyer go off to get the water...