Episode Report Card Omar G: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Naughty Of Lies
By Omar G | Season 8 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.16.2008
One sheriff call later... police officers are crawling all over The Talon. After a change of clothes, Chloe and Jimmy are giving a statement to an officer. Clark walks in. "I'm glad you two are OK," he says. Wow, he sure doesn't sound relieved. He tells them that he can't find Lois. Clark says he got a voice mail in which Lois mentioned headlights. Jimmy tells Clark that they saw headlights before they were taken. Chloe asks why the guy would want Lois. I think the correct question is "What guy would want Lois?" That way lies insanity. In order to avoid that conversation, Clark says it's a long story. He asks them to tell him anything they might know that could help. Jimmy says the guy was a whack-job. Thanks, Jimmy. Big help. Chloe tries to remember things that the guy said, like how secrets kill and about bonds. "What did he say about your bond?" Clark asks. That it's Bond, James Bond? Chloe blinks rapidly as she describes Masky's take on solidifying the bond between man and wife. Just from that, Clark deduces the identity of our kidnapper. "I know who has Lois," he says. We hear Clark whoosh out of the scene, but over a shot of the next scene, which is a little jarring.
The next scene is an overhead shot of Metropolis. Clark zips along the street until he arrives in front of Cameo Jewelers. Word up! I wonder if Masky has a codpiece to match his mask. Clark uses his superhearing. He hears Lois inside asking for her cousin.
We cut to Masky's lair. Lois, died down, groggily asks, "Where is she?" Clark bursts through the upstairs doors, blasting them away. He calls for Lois. Clark zips downstairs and starts to remove Lois's bonds. He tells her that Chloe and Jimmy were let go. He asks where Masky went. "Right behind you," he says. Clark is weakened suddenly. Masky strikes him across the face and Clark falls down. Masky is holding a wrench, just like the bad guy in the "Take On Me" video. He also randomly has a Kryptonite bracelet that is glowing. Clark, bloodied, sputters on the floor. He blacks out.
Instead of going to commercial on the blackout, we get Clark's point-of-view as he wakes up. Everything is blurry. Lois, sitting across from him, is calling his name. Lois tells him to wake up. Clark is clamped down. "I know who you are!" Clark calls. Masky removes his mask. Oh, great. What am I going to call him now? Facey? Masky says it's time to begin. Lois asks what's the point. She says now that they've seen his face, he's sure to kill them. "Not necessarily," Masky says. How exactly would he let them go, then? Dude doesn't make any sense. Masky thinks Clark is gallant and must care very much about Lois to come bursting in the way he did. Has he seen the doors upstairs? No suspicions about that? Lois says Clark is stupid that way. Clark tells Masky to let her go. Masky says that Lois will have her turn. Lois asks if it's a game. Masky says it's a test to see how much they've been hiding from one another. "If you pass," he says, "you'll want to invite me to your wedding. If you fail, the guest list will be the least of your worries." The electricity whines as it powers up. Masky asks Lois if she's ever cheated on her fiancé. Lois says, "Of course now." This isn't really a lie, but the needle moves and Clark gets electrocuted. Ow. Lois yells for Masky to stop. She's told that her lies are killing him. Lois tries to take it back. Masky winds up again for Clark's turn. Masky again tries to justify his actions by saying he's saving them both a lot of pain and trouble. Lois says they're not really a couple, so this test doesn't mean anything. Masky ignores that. He asks Lois if underneath it all, she loves this man. Clark tells Lois to answer the question. "Don't outthink it. Just tell the truth," Clark says. Lois stares at him. Masky asks again: "Do you love him?" Clark reminds her to tell the truth. Lois looks down. Masky asks one more time. Lois, whimpering, says quietly, "Yes." The lie-detector doesn't detect a lie. Masky smiles. He goes to Clark and asks the same question. Clark looks away. He has to really think about it. Masky leans in close. Clark grabs his hand, head-butts him, pulls off the bracelet and tosses it away. The bracelet falls through a grate in the ground. Clark eyejaculates two red beams across the room, shooting a pipe that sends steam into the room. Lois didn't notice that maneuver? Under supposed cover of steam, Clark frees himself. Lois hears punching and a body falling. Clark is standing there, victorious. He asks if she's all right. Lois says she's not sure. "Let's get you out of here," he says. And into my sweet farm bed, baby. Clark starts to free her. Lois has never been so unhappy to be free.