Episode Report Card Gwen: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jingle Bells, This Show Smells
By Gwen | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.26.2000
At the closed Bar, Elaine belts "Tomorrow" while the house band looks bored. Elaine prima-donnishly bitches at them and then says that she needs them back there at 5:30 to rehearse again. Larry and Ally have been watching the whole time. Ally asks Elaine if she's really going to sing "Tomorrow." Elaine will, because "it's about waking up to a better world -- finding somebody." She leaves, and Larry remarks that at least she's more buoyant. Ally declares that she's going to get Larry into the holiday mood with a theme song. They sit at the piano. The house band has silently disappeared. Ally nasally sings a few lines of several annoying Christmas songs. She suggests that they go to Detroit for Christmas to visit Sam, Larry's son. Presumptuous much, Ally? What makes you think he wants his son to meet you? Larry explains that his wife takes Sam to visit her family in Canada. Ally asks what Larry plays when he sits at the piano alone all woeful and stuff. He says "New York, New York" and something else that sounded like "Shout." I figured he meant the Tears for Fears song. He and Ally touch noses and she tells him, "I have to pee." Man, I hate Ally McBeal. She goes to the restroom and Larry launches into a little ditty. He sings exactly like Don Henley -- maybe Don with a little Joe Cocker thrown in. His song is about skating away on a river. He busts out the soulful falsetto while Ally solemnly watches. You can tell she's annoyed that he sings better than she does.
Richard and John work with a tiny karaoke machine. A semi-bluesy track plays and Richard husks, "I wanna tell you a story," into the mike. John tries it and causes feedback. He worries that he'll fall flat on his face. Richard's not worried because he took out a little insurance. "What kind of insurance?" asks John.
We see Richard trying to convince Nelle to flirt with The Bar patrons so they'll cheer for John. Whatever. He's asked Ling as well, he says. Nelle doesn't see how she can get people to cheer just by smiling at them. Richard gratuitously grabs her arm, dips her, and tells her that her hair makes men want to whisk her away. She tries to make a comically frightened face. Whatever, whatever. This might have been the Most Contrived Scene of the Hour, but I'm not certain because I haven't watched the whole tape yet.
Outside at a hot-wassail stand or something, Ally carps to Renee about Larry's holiday blues. She's upset because he always cheers her up, and she can't deal with the focus being on him instead. Renee points out that It's a Wonderful Life is about a guy trying to commit suicide. I guess that was supposed to be helpful. No wonder Ally needs someone who's good at cheering her up. Renee assures her that Larry will be fine. "He's got you," she coos, kissing Ally on the cheek and then on the forehead. Great. Now Lisa Nicole Carson has to do coke and methamphetamines, too.