Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A | 2 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Just Because I Tell You Things Doesn't Mean You're Allowed To Know Them
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.15.2011
Gilbert Gables: Alaric looks at a picture of him and Jenna in happier days as he packs his bags to leave. When Elena comes home she asks what he's doing. He announces that he's not going to stay there any more. "I'm not a role model, Elena. I drink too much. I saw the wrong things. I encourage bad behavior. At school I can pull it together, but in my own life, with the way I miss Jenna, I'm just not any good to anybody right now. I'm sorry Elena, but you're 18." Yeah, for what, all of ten minutes, Alaric? He ignores me and continues. "You can do all this alone now. You can do it better without me." As tall as she is, Elena looks so tiny and alone as Alaric walks out the door.
Lockwood Mansion. Tyler gets Caroline back to his room and whips her dress right over her head 'til she's standing there in her little black undies and bra and nothing else. Okay, fair enough, she ripped his shirt off first, but my daughter is in the room. Between angry kisses, Caroline uses her vampyric strength to push Tyler down on the bed. Were I in a better mood, I might find this scene sexy, but right now I just find it a little too much for an 8:00 PM show. I know. I know. There's no such thing as the family hour on TV anymore but this feels like soft core porn to me. So while part of me is all, "Yay," Tyler and Caroline are getting together, the rest of me is annoyed, because I have to pause the show and take time to explain to my daughter how sex is not portrayed all that realistically on TV, and good sex is best when it's between committed adults and blah blah blah I'm-old-cakes.
Meanwhile, back at Mossy Manse, Damon trashes the bedroom. But it's not his sparse, lovely, understated room he trashes. It's Stefan's cluttered pack-rat room, which cracks both me and my daughter up, for reasons you surely get even though I can't quite explain.
Tulley, Southern Comfort Bar, Exterior: Stefan stumbles out in the parking lot. He can barely hold himself together. He slides his cell phone out of his pocket and stares at it.
Gilbert Gables. Elena finds a giant birthday card on her bed from Jeremy. She puts it on her dresser next to her phone and walks off to hang up her hoodie. The phone starts ringing and the Caller I.D. reads: "Caller Unknown." We cut to Stefan on the other end, waiting for Elena to pick up. She finally returns and does just that. Her, "Hello," is met with silence. She waits a moment and then says, "Stefan?" When he doesn't answer, Elena continues to talk. "Stefan, if this is you, you'll be okay." The closed captioning then reports that she also says, "You can survive this. Whatever you do, just hold on." Those words aren't spoken on air, though. Instead Elena just says, "I love you, Stefan. Hold onto that. Never let that go." On the other end of the line, Stefan nods and struggles not to cry, but he still says nothing as we fade to black. Poor noodle.