Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ooh, That Smell
By M. Giant | Season 7 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2006
Later that evening, Rory arrives at a fancy Manhattan restaurant, where she tells the host that she's meeting someone. Logan meets her near the podium, and they veritably skip into each other's arms while doing some more riffing on the whole "captain of industry" thing. Really, they're just stalling while we wait to see exactly how this is about to blow up in Rory's face. Logan leads her to "our table," which turns out to be a table for five. Yes, he brought the team. He introduces his teddibly British associates, Philip, Nick, and Bobby. Except Bobby is actually Bobbi, and she's played by the blonde chick from those Orbit chewing gum commercials. And thus I spend the rest of the episode waiting for her to exclaim, "Fabulous!" Rory is completely and transparently thrown by this development, especially the fact that one of the guys is a hot blonde. Except nobody notices her displeasure, of course, least of all Logan as he asks her to sit down. Still flush from their triumph and therefore thoroughly obnoxious, the four members of the team immediately go back to talking amongst each other, going on boringly about the deal they closed today and Philip's apparently inhuman appetite, while Rory barely keeps from crying. Bobbi, sitting at Rory's right, takes a smidge of pity on her and says that she's heard a lot about Rory from Logan. Rory lies that the reverse is also true, in that completely exaggerated way that people on this show have. Logan's guys (and Bobbi! Fabulous!) order another bottle of champagne and another basket of bread for Philip while Rory pouts to herself. Hey, what's a pity party without champagne?
Christopher's driving Lorelai to dinner at Richard and Emily's, and he's got Skid Row playing on the radio, of all people. Somehow we don't hear the crash of the car driving right through the fourth wall. Lorelai invokes her rule against hair bands, and although that gets her nowhere, she draws the line at Chris saying, "'Killer'...'wack'...'rocking' or 'pimping' or 'slamming,' capisce?" "Fo' shizzle," Chris agrees gamely. "There's gotta be an eject button here somewhere," Lorelai says. Chris suggests that the two of them take off somewhere for a weekend. Lorelai's already got the destination picked out: "The Ice Hotel." In case you don't feel like following the link and never saw Die Another Day, she's referring to an actual hotel made entirely of ice. "Wouldn't it be amazing if you went down the hall and the ice machine was empty?" Christopher says, but Lorelai's serious about the idea. Well, mostly. She goes on and on about how guests get to wear parkas and fur hats, and sleep under reindeer skin and eat reindeer meat. I find myself in the position of agreeing with Christopher, who's kind of stuck on "get to." Lorelai points out that you can drink vodka there. Chris says they can drink vodka in Bermuda, too. "The Ice Hotel in Bermuda would totally melt," Lorelai duhs. So Christopher suggests two weekends: "Once we've been treated for frostbite and had our stomachs pumped of reindeer meat, we can go defrost on a beach somewhere." Because, you know Gigi's going to be out of the country for a while and all...