Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Little Lady Sings the Blues
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 16 | Aired on 09.11.2011
Everyone reaches the starting point, including Melissa, who is decked out in leopard print gloves and a leopard hat, complete with ears, plus leopard piping on her running suit. In case you didn't already have an inkling she looks ridiculous, she begins doing exaggerated stretches and high kicks like she's preparing for a Rockettes audition instead of a 5K walk-run. Someone (sounds like Joe Gorga?) says he's going to win the race, and Joe "I don't start nothin'" Giudice snarks, "I already know who's gonna win this race. He's used to fuckin' runnin' away from everybody since he was a kid!" Joe Gorga explains that he generally takes a pacifist stance with Juicy because he doesn't want any of his nieces coming up to him saying, "You beat up my daddy." Rich wisely sees and hears what's going down and takes Joe aside to distract him. Alas, it's by hatching a plot to pants Juicy. That definitely won't have the effect of peacemaking, but it might be pretty funny. Christopher also does his fair share of joke-cracking to try to break up the tension.
All of a sudden, a pack of racers approaches and the crew realizes that they should probably join the race at some point. They get their numbers and joint the event about 10 minutes late. Teresa is running all perky-like while Juicy trudges sourly behind her. Kathy and Rich are also running in earnest, while everyone else is doing some iteration of prissy power walking (Melissa) or walking while making fun of everyone else (Manzo kids). Teresa finally gets Juicy to run, though he complains the whole way about getting no sleep the night before and how his legs hurt from "working out too much" the day before (ha!). Teresa insists that Juicy's in good shape (double-ha!), especially in the bedroom (hurl). Meanwhile, Caroline, Melissa, and Jacqueline take some sort of illegal shortcut and basically give up after walking about 200 yards. Smiles Caroline devilishly, "I think we're winners! I think we won!"
Kathy keeps running while Rich has fallen behind and is struggling a little. As it were, though his speed is just right for Juicy. The two of them jog side by side and horse around. Teresa takes the opportunity to snark that the Wakiles run all the time and aren't getting any skinnier. Unnecessary. As they approach the 3.5K marker, it's clear that Teresa views this as a competition between her and Kathy. She starts pep talking Juicy, who has resumed to walking. Elsewhere, Albie crosses the finish line first... mainly because he cheated. As did Christopher, Greg, and Joe by crawling under a fence to cut through the course. Joe celebrates by leaping into Greg's arms. Lauren gives him a cutting expression while Melissa says, "I swear you like men, just admit it."