Episode Report Card Keckler: B+ | 79 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Like sands through my beer glass
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 24 | Aired on 2002.05.08
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Trip and Quantum bedouin down with a sheik and trade off doing scenes from Ishtar and Snake Pit, when they're not replaying the volleyball scene from Top Gun. Yeah, that volleyball scene. After the Dynamic Don't hike across parts of Tatooine, T'Pol gets worried and calls them home, only to discover they've landed themselves in terroristy caste-systemy conflict in a hot, sandy, deserty sort of place. Hmm, what does that remind me of? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Quantum's log cabin. He mentions that "after a brief detour, [they're] back on course for Risa." As Porthos watches him pack his stuff into a water polo bag, Quantum babbles about the place on Risa he's pre-selected to hang out on with his bikini-clad books. He starts to say he might do some diving when he's interrupted by a comm from T'Pol, telling him they've picked up a distress signal. Quantum orders her to alter course to intercept the distressed vessel, and tells Porthos his "walk on the beach" will still be but a dream. Poor Porthos whimpers and lies back down on his bed, thinking, as he really has to go pee, that he'll just go on Quantum's pillow. Aw, baby, come live with us -- we won't neglect you!
Spend'st thou thy fury on some worthless song.
Quantum walks the corridors with a taller, curlier, broader bloke in sweeping veils and robes and explains what was wrong with his craft. The taller, curlier, broader bloke --who's got a tattoo dribbling all around his chin to denote his alienity -- thanks Quantum sincerely for his and his Chief Engineer's trouble. Quantum tells him it was no trouble and that Trip was thrilled to "tinker with alien engines." Osama Bin Dribblin' asks Quantum if they answer every distress call they come across, and Quantum modestly tells him that they try to tamper with as many people as they possibly can. "The galaxy could use more people like you," Osama Bin Dribblin' says, slapping Quantum on the back. They enter the shuttle bay, where Trip's going at the alien pod with a blow-torch. Suddenly, Osama Bin Dribblin' becomes infected with this massive Indian-Latino-Hebrew-Kramer-doing-Moviefone accent. We had to rewind this transition several times to be sure, but indeed, Clancy Brown goes from having simply a bassy resonating voice to the bastard child of a triumvirate of Watto from The Phantom Menace, John Rhys-Davies in all the Indiana Jones movies, and Brian Blessed in just about anything you'd care to name, but especially as Boss Nass. I mean, it's a great voice, but it's really weird that he didn't have it for the first forty seconds of the show, and because of that, Mathra couldn't stop giggling every time the man opened his mouth. Osama Bin Dribblin' insists that Trip and Quantum pay a visit to his planet so he can thank them properly. Quantum tries to get out of it by saying they're holding tickets for Risa, but when Osama Bin Dribblin' tells Quantum he's offended easily AND that there's a Geskana match happening, Cpt. Spineless gives in. He probably thinks Geskana is akin to water polo. Dork. Osama Bin Dribblin' tells them to dress for warm weather.