Episode Report Card Joe R: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lude Awakening
By Joe R | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 09.04.2005
Andy's at home watching porn (Incredahoes, in case you were curious) when Doug comes calling. After a short while where they debate whether Andy's name is or is not "Randy" (Doug really thinks he looks like a Randy), Doug catches a glimpse of the TV and recognizes Incredahoes instantly. He asks if Andy would mind if he came in (so to speak) and watched with him. Andy's like, "That'd be weird," but when Doug says he's got and eighth of herb on him, Andy welcomes him right in.
Agrestic High. Silas runs into one of his greasy-haired friends, who gives him shit about tying himself down to the Deaf Girl, especially when he's not even getting any. Grease-Turd tells Silas that he's in his prime, and oh by the way, while he was wasting his time with Megan last night, he missed some girl's party, where apparently all the hot girls in his class were. And one of them, Chelsea, is into Silas. Silas says he's full of shit, and just then a trio of high school bitches strut down the hall in Mean Girls formation. One of them casts an oh-so-brief look at Silas, though, to his credit, he appears to remain slightly dubious.
Celia's still clearing out boxes of clothes to give to Blanca. She comes across a box of unused baby clothes and tells Nancy she had a miscarriage last year but, "with my track record, it was a blessing." Celia offers the clothes to Blanca, but Nancy wrests them out of her hands, as she knows someone who could use them. She doesn't tell Celia that someone is one of her weed suppliers. [Okay, since we're speaking about Vaneeta, let's sidebar: She's Heylia's daughter? Daughter-in-law? In later episodes, Heylia talks about her "grandbaby," but then Vaneeta calls her "Heylia" and not "mom," so what gives? And why have the Wiki nerds not come up with a comprehensive blog for this show so I don't have to ask these questions mid-weecap?] Thrwarted in her attempt to score some onesies, Blanca starts digging through another bin and finds a hot pink roller skate. Celia gasps and remembers what hot shit she was in the days of the roller disco, rocking the hot pants and high on 'ludes. "I could fuck against a wall with my skates on. No easy feat." Nancy smiles, and Celia asks Blanca how she feels about free furniture.
Botwins'. Doug and Andy are getting high, watching porn, and fiercely debating the proper terminology for the strip of flesh that runs between one's asshole and one's balls. Doug says "runway." Andy says "taint." What, no votes for "spaba"? It's not a preferred term, but it beats "runway," Doug. Finally, in comes Lupita, and Andy asks for a tiebreaker: "What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?" Lupita considers it for a moment, then gestures to the furniture in between Andy and Doug: "The coffee table."