Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Moonfaker
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.05.2005
T'Pol meditates next to an orange candle. Mmmm, I can practically smell Scent o' Hippie emanating from my television set. It's SO relaxing. Trip visits T'Pol to talk about their baby. T'Pol swears she's never been pregnant, but Trip, the big sweetie, doesn't seem to believe her. Clearly, he's just understandably upset and it's TOTALLY possible that he would have been so wrapped up in his duties and movies that he actually wouldn't notice T'Pol walking around, all bloated ankles and huge breasts. Well, to be TOTALLY fair, he wouldn't notice if she had huge breasts suddenly, and if she gained a lot of weight, I'm sure she could just tell him that she ate a piece of bread. Trip seems to be convinced after a bit and decides that Phlox's results must be wrong. T'Pol sits down -- wow, has she really gained weight? She looks SO healthy! -- and says that, in her heart, she knows that the baby is theirs. Now, how does she know this without even seeing or communicating in any way with the baby? Both Trip and I are DYING to know. "I'm Vulcan," T'Pol says. Works for me! Because, see, I didn't REALIZE she was Vulcan! And I must've missed the part where they explained that Vulcans have ESP or Phoebe's Fucking Backup Band. I mean, it's TOTALLY my fault for missing all those facts about Vulcans over the course of four other series. Oops, I swore -- I'm sorry, but I was just quoting Demian and his dirty pretty mouth.
Mayor Tam has coffee with Quantum. Because of the rampant xenophobia on Earth, Mayor Tam wants to keep Baby Tri'pol secret. Quantum doesn't feel the same way, but he's so NICE and UNDERSTANDING about things he knows nothing about that I really don't understand why Mayor Tam doesn't see it his way and automatically make the news about the Vulcan-Human hybrid known far and wide. I mean, making the existence of Baby Tri'pol known might JUST help them find her and there's REALLY only a TINY chance that the baby might be killed by all the nutso whack jobs, so I really don't see why Mayor Tam doesn't do what Quantum wants. In fact, I really don't see why EVERYONE doesn't do what Quantum wants ALL THE TIME! "Maybe I just have more FAITH in HUMANITY than you do," Quantum says in the sweetest of possible tones that doesn't make him come off like an asshole in the least. Not in the least. I LOVE QUANTUM! In fact, I LOVE him so much, I feel the need to drink a bottle of red wine because red is the color of LOVE! Mayor Tam shakes his head and says, "Can't afford to operate on faith." Aw, come on Mayor Tam -- not even on Faith of the Heart? Maybe you'd operate on the Heart and remove Faith from it? Maybe if you'd operated on Faith she wouldn't have been in a coma all that time? Mayor Tam has no news on the whereabouts of Baby Tri'pol but feels that the Starfleet investigators will get to the bottom of it very soon. Quantum doesn't seem very convinced by this, but shakes Mayor Tam's hand anyway because he's a classy guy. As soon as Mayor Tam leaves, Quantum comms Reed and says he wants him to talk to an "old friend." Ooooh, who could that be?!