Get ready to drink along with Tina and Amy (and us) as the Golden Globes begin in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1
8:00: The Tina and Amy Show has taken the stage. Let the debauchery begin!
8:00: "If something kind of works, they'll just keep doing it until everyone hates it." As succinct a summary of Ricky Gervais' Globes tenure that we've heard yet.
8:02: "You're basically a garbage person." Amy Poehler's been reading up on Armond White, huh?
8:04: An Amy Poehler and J-Law movie? Yes please!
8:05: Also, Julia Louis-Dreyfus needs to dis Reese Witherspoon in public more often.
8:09: Switching gears to TV shows now, but still taking the time for several more shots at Captain Phillips. Was that the only screener they had time to watch?
8:10: Final verdict: not quite as great as last year's intro, but some good zingers that brought back memories of their Weekend Update days. Cecily Strong has a lot to live up to.
8:11: Best Supporting Actress up first. We said Lupita Nyong'o. The Globes say…
8:11: J-Law. They probably just wanted to see if she'd fall down again on the way to the podium.
8:12: Onto Supporting Actress in a TV series, miniseries or movie, the most grab-bag category around.
8:13: And Old Hollywood steals a Globe back from the young as sixtysomething Jacqueline Bisset makes her long, long, long walk to the podium. They may as well have assigned her a table in England.
8:15: She sounds alternately moved and a little pissed off to be back here again. Also drunk.
8:16: We all need a little Chiwetel for inspiration.
8:16: Sounds like the Bleep Police missed a word.
8:16: What do you do when you can't play a winner off? Do they still keep those long hooks backstage or did those only ever in cartoons?
8:18: With two awards in the bag, keep track of all the winners here.
8:21: Best Miniseries and TV movie is on deck. Behind the Candelabra, right? Even though Top of the Lake is more deserving.