Episode Report Card M. Giant: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Say Quakerism, You Say Aneurysm
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 07.23.2005
Suddenly Jimmy calls across the room, "Well, well, well, if it isn't the queen of disappearance." Leave the character nicknaming to the pros, Jimmy. He strides confidently toward them, Anita on his arm. Big happy hug for Claire. I'm not sure why everyone's being so nice to Claire tonight, considering that she didn't exactly part with these folks on the best of terms. Claire introduces "my friends, Jimmy and Anita" to Lawyer Ted. Anita holds on to her handshake with Ted a little long, asking, "Are you rich? Please, buy my stuff…I need clothes, and drugs, and shampoo." Ted laughs nervously, even though everyone knows she's totally serious. Not even kidding on the square. Claire mentions that Russell is looking for Jimmy, who quickly says, "I gotta hide. If he comes anywhere near me, please tackle him and beat him unconscious." Jimmy makes himself scarce. Claire asks Anita what's up with those two, and Anita explains, "It's so great! Jimmy got drunk and let Russell blow him and now Russell's majorly in love." Claire laughs in disbelief. "It's my new favorite story," Anita adds. Wow, Anita should have gone to college with Lawyer Ted.
Rico's working late, making up the Corpse of the Week while she lies in her casket. He sighs unhappily, cueing the obligatory bit where she opens her eyes and comments on the episode's theme. "I can't believe what idiots you have to work with," says the woman who Rollerbladed into the path of a moving car. Rico agrees: "They don't listen to me, they don't respect me…" Corpse of the Week, now reclining on the table in her pretty lavender dress and Rollerblades (as well as still laid out in the coffin with her eyes closed), asks Rico if maybe he's talking about someone else. "Vanessa treats you like a dog," she remarks. "She's never going to forgive you." Rico points out that he fucked up. Correct! "That's what men do," CotW purrs, hopping off the counter and gliding over to him. "I'd forgive you," she says. "I'd even forgive you a second time. You need a nice Mexican girl. Not one of those Puerto Rican bitches. They all got razor blades in their pussies." Wow, Rico's fantasy has a potty mouth. Even he says "Whoa" at that. She continues, "A girl like me? I'd let you be the man of the house. I'd let you do anything you wanted, Rico. Anything." Rico goes back to work, sad that she's dead. Actually, the way sex with Vanessa has been recently, the CotW might be an improvement.
Claire comes out of the unisex bathroom at the gallery to find Russell mooning outside the room. She asks if he found Jimmy yet. Something about the way she asks appears to tip Russell off to the fact that she's heard the story. Russell says he's either a masochist or a "mess, I guess," saying he's always falling in love with people who hate him. "Not always," Claire points out nicely. Yeah, Anita seemed to like him just fine for a while. Russell says he's not even in love with Jimmy; he wants to be Jimmy – even though he paradoxically hates Jimmy. "I mean, he's so self-absorbed! He builds a seven-foot sculpture of his penis." Following Russell's gaze to Jimmy's centerpiece sculpture, Claire says, "It's a lollipop." "It's subliminal, Claire," he responds. I don't know, I'd say that sucker's pretty damn liminal. Also, it's at least nine feet. Claire takes this opportunity to say she's sorry for taking all the credit for the collage stuff. "It was part yours." I still think Russell deserves maybe five percent of the credit for that, but Claire's original pissy/defensive/guilty reaction to his claim of partial credit at the end of last season, and her eagerness to move on from the collage thing this season, suggested to me that she always thought he deserved more. But now she's made amends, and I'd be very surprised if this didn't help her move past her current artistic block. Russell says it was good seeing her. She returns the compliment and he plants a kiss on her cheek before leaving. Interesting that they both seem to have gotten some closure without having to bring up the abortion thing. Or maybe it was subliminal. Claire glances over across the room at where Ted is trying to plumb the mysteries of some sculpture, and smiles affectionately.