Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | 2 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Parental Discretion Advised
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.25.1999
Less Khaki Country, more Khaki Soul.
Yeah, I believe Cuba Gooding Jr. as a psychiatrist about as much as I believed Cindy Crawford as a lawyer.
Over at the No-Fault Hacienda (where our slogan is, "Last One Out Gets the Kid!"), Dawson is telling Mrs. Flash that he needs "some 'father-son advice.'" Huh? Anyway, he asks what a person should do when "you know something really bad about someone really close to someone you care about? Do you tell the someone that you care about, or do you just try and [sic] forget that you know the bad thing?" Mrs. Flash wants to know how bad is "bad?" Dawson opines that it's beyond bad. Mrs. Flash, whose hair looks a lot better in this episode (which is more than can be said for her TV son, whose head, in this episode, looks less like a cereal box and more like a blond broccoli), says that he can either tell the person he cares about what he knows, or confront the person close to the someone he cares about, in the hopes that the confrontation will force the person who did the bad thing to tell the person he's close to. I'm sure there's a way that could have been more convoluted; I'm not sure how. Dawson says the Flash has got nothing on his Bride. Mrs. Flash says that, speaking of the Flash, she's decided to take the job in Philadelphia (only she makes the unfortunate decision to call it "Philly") and that she's flying down tomorrow [!] to finalize everything. Man, does she want to escape from Dawson or what? He asks whether this is what she really wants. She says that, in the absence of any dissuasion from the Flash, she doesn't feel she has a reason to turn it down. I don't blame her. You'd think she'd offer to take Jen with her.
Over at the Potter Halfway House, Dawson is picking up Joey, who says she'll need a minute, and kisses him. She goes back inside looking for a piece of her homework, as Mr. Pothead comes up behind Dawson and asks how he is and whether he's ready for exams. Dawson says he is, and asks how Mr. Pothead is. He says he's fine. Dawson pointedly adds, "And legal?" Mr. Pothead's jocular smile fades, and he says nothing as Dawson and his clenched jaw continue to stare him down. You know, given that Dawson doesn't know anything about Mr. Pothead other than that he's recently had occasion to look at a baggie full of some kind of drug, I would think he'd keep his largely unfounded judgments to himself. Anyway, at that moment Joey comes out of the trailer and comments that she hates exams. Mr. Pothead says that, as long as the Icehouse is closed for business during renovations, the kids are welcome to study there. Joey thanks him and bounces down the stairs; Dawson guardedly agrees that it sounds like a good idea. Before leaving, Dawson gives Mr. Pothead his best Village of the Damned icy glare and says, "See you later, Mr. Potter." Mr. Pothead watches him go, looking stricken.
On the campus of Capeside High, Jen "Wilbur" Lindley and Jack "Matt" McPhee stroll toward class drinking coffee and wearing COATS. In what is presumably MAY. Okay, do they live in AUSTRALIA now? What the hell? Jen makes some comment about the coffee helping to get her through the day. Jack says that she'll need more than that after the all-nighter she pulled working on her paper, and asks what it's about. "Teen suicide," she says, in a poor approximation of breeziness. Jack says, "You have a lot to say about teen suicide? Should I start to plan the intervention?" Jen stops walking and kind of glares at him, then chuckles and says she's "not on the window ledge -- right now." Oh geez. Jack says, "'Right now'? This conversation just took a decidedly gruesome turn." Jen says, "No, it's just realistic." Jack says, "Realistic to who?" Jen says, "To most teenagers," and explains that "the materials" said that "a high percentage" of teenagers had considered suicide at least once. Stop the presses! "Come on," she says. "Haven't you, ever?" Jack gets flustered and says, "Maybe -- one time -- yeah, but since I've been dealing with everything it hasn't really crossed my mind. The world doesn't scare me as much as it used to. What's your answer?" She looks taken aback, but before she can answer, the call of "Jennifah!" rings out across the quad and we cut to Grams "The Terminator" Ryan, looking lost among so many teenagers, and oddly cute with her alpine cardigan and her old-lady purse. Jen sighs loudly, and diffidently says hi. Grams asks how she is. Jen says, "Late for class," and walks right past her. If I were Grams, this conversation would be O.V.E.R., but Grams evidently has more cheeks to turn than I have, because she asks Jen to wait and says, "I've thought about how we ended things. I've given it a great deal of consideration, and despite our differences, I want you to come home." Jen glances in Jack's direction and says, "I have a home." Undaunted, Grams continues: "Jennifer, I know you want your independence, but this situation isn't right." Jen says, "Jack is used to taking care of himself, and that is something that I'm determined to learn how [sic]. Together, we're going to be fine." Grams observes, "Jack has no alternative. You do." Jen says, "You come here to welcome me home but you haven't even addressed why I left. And to be quite honest, I don't want to get into it right now." Uh, as I recall, the reason you left is that she kicked your ass out, honey, but way to get the last word. As she does the Jen stomp out of there, Jack turns back and nods awkwardly, but politely, at Grams.