Episode Report Card Lady Lola: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Same Shit, Different Country
By Lady Lola | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 10.20.2011
The next day, Pauly, Vinny, and Sammi report to their last day of work. This consists of Sammi working while Pauly and Vinny play around on megaphones and scream in customers' ears. I'm so glad I spent two minutes of my life watching that.
That night, the whole house hangs out and eavesdrops while SamRo 2.0 smush in the middle of the evening (which is like midday for guidos). The fuckbirds can't even bother to actually make the bed. They lay down a flat sheet that's folded in half and bang under a quilt. Gross. And, if you ask Pauly, they were finished five minutes later. "No wonder why Sam never smiles."
Sitch calls his sister Melissa. He admits he wants to get out of Italy and never look back. He says he's even considering skipping out on the return trip to Jersey. Of course this is a lie. Sitch would still find a way to cling to fame if they chopped his fingers off. Meanwhile, Snooki (in yet another pair of Yeti boots) heads into the bathroom to talk shit with Deena as she dries her hair. Deena thinks that Sitch's threats are idle and that he only stirs the pot to avoid getting lost in the shuffle. They vow not to play into The Situation's mind games by feeling guilty.
While the kids prepare to go out, sick JWOWW decides to stay home and recuperate. The rest of the gang head out, where Sitch gets his game on and Team Meatballs quickly decide they want to go somewhere else because boob, cuca, and a-hole sweat does not a happy Meatball a-make. They head to another and vow to "go frickin' hard." Unless all those other times this summer. Those were just practice rounds. Alas, at the club, they run across this drunken skeeze who makes them realize what they must look like when they're drunk. Deena squawks at the girl, "You're being annoying!" The girl responds by sticking Deena's purse up her skirt. As you do. Deena: "She just fucked my clutch!" Vinny and Pauly soon arrive, and the foursome has a grand old time
The crew from the other club head home, and soon so do the Meatballs and VP. Pauly has found himself a girl whom he deems is "kinda okay." I would argue that she is royally busted, but it's no matter because she's DTF. As they walk (read: stagger home), Pauly realizes that she's quite possibly too drunk to legally consent and calls her a cab. "I'll see her another time," he says, "...or never." Speaking of drunken ninnies, Deena walks barefoot through the streets of Florence with Snooki. They are ridiculously lost, so Deena decides to pass the time by smooching on trees. True story. They finally get home, and Deena's feet are literally black from the dirt and grime of the street. Even Britney Spears would be grossed out.