Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT You're The Baptized!
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.03.2005
Rory is doing yeoman's work at the DAR reception. She is wearing a skirt I find questionable, but I can't complain too much. I just am against the box pleats on even the thinnest, is all. If you have any hips whatsoever, they give an effect that is both boxy and bloated. Rory is alarmed to find that the salmon puffs are almost depleted, and worries that she should have "staggered their release." She even has a little party notebook in her pocket, which I find kind of charming, except that the rest of this scene is so painfully annoying that I want to selectively wipe it off my Tivo. Passing another waiter, Rory is upset to see that his tray contains garnish. "My grandmother hates garnish," she says, grabbing the offending sprig and stuffing it in her pocket. She goes on to mingle with the guests, making excruciating jokes and small talk, and wanders over to find a group of folks, including Nora, the English woman from a couple of weeks ago, talking in front of a painting of George Washington. She says that if Gilbert Stuart were alive today, "[she] would absolutely commission him to paint a portrait of [her] Henry." Some random art guy says that Martha Washington had the same idea when she commissioned Stuart to paint portraits of her and her husband to hang at Mt. Vernon. A very beautiful DAR member leans in to inform Professor Plum, or whoever he is, that Henry is not Nora's husband, but her Springer spaniel. I'd like to make fun of this, but the portrait of my late dog (no, really) hanging directly above me at this moment will not allow me to do so. Don't judge me, internet. Everybody is finding Rory to be "just darling," but she is starting to sweat. Some other ladies are admiring a plant on the veranda, and Rory can't name it but promises to ask Emily. She takes her notebook out of her pocket to make a note to remind herself, and garnish flies everywhere. Oops.
Rory looks over just in time to see Logan literally slinking in, very casually dressed. For whatever reason, she's glad to see him, and even though he looks like he just rolled out of bed in time for Philosophy class, she drags him over to introduce him to the plant ladies. They are delighted to meet the young Huntzberger, but he is very rudely not delighted to meet them, barely mustering up a "hey." Rory tries to cover by reminding him that one of these ladies is the one who said Rory looks like Clara Barton, "which [Rory's] still not sure is a compliment." Aw. The lady -- who talks like that chicken that was in love with Foghorn Leghorn -- assures her that it's a compliment of the highest order. This is all going over like a lead balloon with Logan, who pretty much stands there like a surly teenager and makes Rory do all the small-talking. She asks the ladies to excuse them, and they go to the kitchen, where Logan promptly pours himself a scotch and asks, "So, how long do you think this thing's going to last?" Asshole. Oh, I hate Logan, more in this episode than in any ever before, ever. What is wrong with you, Rory? DAMN. Logan says he's just not in the mood to deal with "these type of people," which is funny, since he is their crown prince. Instead of taking him to task for 1) rolling into her grandmother's house dressed like a schmo; 2) drinking scotch that wasn't put out for guests; and 3) drinking scotch at all, because, please, she suggests that he go to the pool house to wait for her. He leaves, and she discovers that they've run out of coffee. She wigs and whinily yells for someone to make more coffee. This annoys me, because these caterers are there to do exactly that, so the whining is unnecessary. Just go out there and ask them to make some, Rory.