Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Run, Max! Run!
By Pamie | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.15.2001
The double date is over, and Max is moaning that he can barely walk because he ate a cow. CuteDean says that Max just had a good-sized steak. Max keeps moaning about the giant baked potatoes they had. Rory and Lorelai squeal and run for ice cream. Max whines that he doesn't understand how they can still be hungry after they ate all that dinner. CuteDean says he's surprised that Max doesn't know all about Rory's and Lorelai's eating habits yet. They casually sit on a bench as Max says he knows all about their eating habits, and tries to act like he knows anything about these two women he's about to call "my wife and kid." CuteDean says that the eating habits are just the start of things. Life with these two women is incredibly difficult. There are rules. Don't ever use the last of the parmesan cheese. CuteDean isn't used to so many lines, I guess, because right here he starts panting, which I guess means he's laughing or something, but it sounds like he can't breathe. He says that you should never get into a discussion with one of them late at night, when they're cranky. "Go with their bits," he says. Max asks what that means. "If you're eating pizza with them and Lorelai decides that the pepperoni is angry at the mushrooms because the mushrooms have an attitude and then she holds up a pepperoni and the pepperoni asks for your opinion...don't just laugh. Answer the pepperoni." "Answer the pepperoni," Max repeats. It's like CuteDean is explaining life with Nell. CuteDean tells Max not to let the girls around puppies, because they'll take them home. Max acts like he already knew that rule. CuteDean makes that noise like a nozzle of whipped cream again, and then announces the big rule: "If you ever think that they're doing something crazy, they're not. You see, after a while, their thinking becomes clear, but by the time it's clear, they've already done two other totally crazy things that you can't figure out. So there's no catching up." "You have much knowledge," Max says. "You got that from Rory," CuteDean answers. He asks Max whether Lorelai knows what kind of ice cream he likes. Max says she does, and that it's chocolate chip, but that he already told her he didn't.... "Chocolate chip," Lorelai interrupts with a double scoop. CuteDean gives the "I told you so" face. These people will not marry, and it was dumb to try and make us think they would. All four walk off with ice cream.
Lorelai walks up the stairs to her house, complaining that she's full. "Why'd you let me eat so much?" she whirls around to spit at Max. CuteDean's right behind him, explaining that they'll blame everything on him. Max shakes his head and starts to go inside. He turns around and sees Rory standing with CuteDean. He tries to get all parental. He tells the kids that it's after eleven, and they're all, "Thanks, non-Dad." Max goes inside, where he doesn't belong.