Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Up A Creek
By Al Lowe | Season 7 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.19.2007
We are to assume, I suppose, that Rory and Lorelai somehow manage to get gas without incident, because we next see them being ushered in for FND by the newest maid, Aurora the Low Talker. Poor Aurora twitches and mumbles, snatching the girls' coats and murmuring that she thinks Emily is in the living room. "What?" Lorelai says as the maid scurries away. "Her mouth is moving -- is there something wrong with my ears?" Rory says there isn't, as they try to figure out what's going on. "Ugh!" says Lorelai. "This house is a giant Skinner box with Chippendale chairs!" Rory and Lorelai go to meet Emily in the living room, where she waits for them with her typical austerity, and I think they have a conversation about whether Richard is really up to FND after his stay in the hospital, but I can't be 100% certain because for perhaps the first time since I have regularly watched this show, Lorelai's dress is so awful, it has rendered me deaf. The color: gorgeous. And later, when she sits down, she looks stunning, as usual. When she first walked in and removed her coat, I thought that although it was a bit shapeless, it might be cool in a mod sort of way. Unfortunately, she is a victim of what the glorious Fug Girls refer to as a "scrolldown" (though in this case I suppose we must call it a pan-down), because beneath the shapeless tunic-like thing, she is wearing black tights and...boots? I don't know. My eyes are crossed. Anyway, Emily snootily points out that there is no reason Richard won't be up to dinner, as sitting down to dinner with one's family does not exactly require much effort. Lorelai clearly has to restrain herself from laughing out loud. She's back on the hot seat, however, when Emily asks if Christopher will be joining them. Lorelai hems and haws, and says he's not able to make it. "Well," Emily says, dryly, "that's too bad."
When Emily offers drinks, and Lorelai orders the usual martini, a shocking revelation is made: Emily has taken alcohol off the menu. She is serving some tragic creation called a mocktail. Rory tries to get into the spirit and gamely orders a Roy Rogers, and while Lorelai continues to wig about the lack of booze, Richard's nurse comes in for what must be her hourly beratement from Emily. First of all -- a sassy black home healthcare nurse? Could we ratchet back the clichés a bit, people? She and Emily get into it when the nurse reports that Mr. Gilmore is "busy" watching golf, and will be down when he's finished. Emily is, naturally, outraged, and attempts to flay the nurse with her eyes. The Roy Rogerses...ses..es are distributed, and Lorelai can't take a sip without a smart comment. "For heaven's sake, Lorelai," Emily snaps back, "if you're unable to go for a few hours without alcohol, I can send the maid out to get you a six-pack." Further fireworks are interrupted by the arrival of Grumpa, fussing down the stairs in his dressing gown, complaining about being torn away from one of the most pivotal golf moments in history. Everyone puts on her nicest face to welcome him, but he is not having it. When Emily offers him a mocktail, he gets agitated and demands that they go straight to dinner. Emily turns to the nurse and asks her to go tell the maid to tell the chef that they are ready. Of course, Sassy wants to reiterate that taking messages to maids is not her job, which frustrates Richard even further. Poor Grandpa. Yeah, I called him Bitchard in the recaplet, but you know, the hospital makes you bitchy. The physical trauma, the emotional fright, the mental stress, the drugs -- it is a mocktail for disaster.