Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flight of the Khannabees
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.04.2004
Dawsonella and Mullet lie in bed together, all tangled up in fug, while Mullet complains that Dain'ta "is different than [he] remember[s]." "The man who raised us would never risk our lives to protect humans," Mullet bitches. Correct me if I'm wrong, Repulsive, but aren't you human as well? I know you're genetically gifted and crap, but that doesn't change your species. You're an idiot. Also, why does their bed look so comfortable with pillows, soft mattresses, and fuzzy blanket? This is a Klingon ship and Klingons eschew all comforts. Picard and Riker bedded down on metal shelves during their stretches on Klingon ships. What -- these Khannabees thought to tote their down comforters and 1500-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets with them when they escaped their playpen? I don't think so. I also don't buy that Klingons of the past are less hardcore about comforts than the Klingons of the future. Dawsonella argues that Dain'ta knows what he's doing and that they shouldn't doubt him. Mullet prefers to doubt him and says that Khannabees should be led by Khannabees. They argue some more, and have a minor struggle in bed that ends in sex. Ugly people sex is really heinous. Mullet has tiny man nipples that, truth be told, really don't measure up to Khan's. In fact, he's quite the nippliarly challenged individual. Maybe Dain'ta should fix that next time around. There's a na-ha-hasty scene here where Mullet pulls Dawsonella's face really close to his and I had disturbing flashbacks from that scene in Aliens 3 when the mama alien shoves her big, dripping maw near Ripley's face. Yes, I think he's that ugly and his grin is really that freakish. By the way, I think it's really stupid that Dawsonella's Tick Underoos have the same fashionable tears in them. If they're so smart, why doesn't one of the Khannabees learn how to darn clothes?
Enterprise. Trip, Quantum, and T'Pol remind us that Cold Station 12 is where Dain'ta used to work; it's where Starfleet stores a bunch of highly infectious diseases; and it's also where the super-embryos were held after the Eugenics Wars. Dain'ta only took nineteen -- an odd number if you ask me, but maybe they were the prime candidates. Geddit? "Prime," because nineteen is…oh, forget it. You tend to find these things funny when you're married to a mathematician -- and there are over eighteen hundred left. Trip duhs that's why Dain'ta took the incubators.
Jolene? Yeah, it's your agent. Listen, I'm sorry, doll, but you've gotta wear the catsuit awhile longer. What's that? Yeah, I know it's demeaning, pathetic, and I know the velour nap has been ruined by all those masturbating studio executives, but you know it's all because of The Furlong Clause. Yep, you gotta pay your debt to society for dating him. Okay? Now keep your dinners up -- it will all be over soon. Who loves ya, baby?