Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT See What Happens When You Don't Take Backup?
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.22.2005
Some portly balding dude enters a house and punches in the alarm code. Keith comes out of nowhere and manhandles the guy onto the dining-room table, asking who he is. He tells Keith that he's Marcos's parents' neighbor, and that he just came to grab a couple of beers, because his wife won't let him keep them in the house. Keith lets the guy up, clearly figuring, based on the beer revelation, that he's suffered enough in his life. He does ask, though, why the guy chose Bowling Night to come over, and accuses him of being behind the harassment in an effort to get Marcos's parents to move so that he can add on to his house. This idea at least jibes with what Marcos's mom said, although it does suffer from the fact that the guy doesn't exactly have a bottle of cologne or a model school bus on him. I suppose Keith could do a strip search, but I could frankly do without that. As I mentioned earlier, I saw Jarhead recently, and this guy just isn't going to live up to Jake Gyllenhaal wearing only a strategically placed Santa hat. Keith makes with the spastic faces again as he tells the guy to get his beer, but the guy opts to leave instead. He must really be upset. Keith Botox-faces for a while, but settles down when he sees a school bus in the fish tank. Heh, nice. He successfully completes a salvage mission, but his attention then focuses on the trash can, wherein he discovers a scrap of Simon and Stern paper with the number "8543" written on one side. He calls Marcos's dad and, after ascertaining that the neighbor does indeed have permission to keep beer in the Oliveres refrigerator, informs him that it looks like the law firm is behind the harassment, since the number is in fact the alarm code for the house. Keith says he'll bring the paper to the deposition, and hangs up. He looks at the tank and makes another weird face to end the scene.
Logan enters some strip-mall parking lot to find that his Xterra is blocked in by a white van. He approaches it, because in all the annals of crime both real and fictional, a white van has never spelled trouble. Rounding the back, he comes into contact with a fist, and since the contact isn't incidental, Logan's knocked out cold. A couple of masked thugs load him into the back and close the doors as we head into the last commercial break.
Sometime later and somewhere else, Logan -- sporting a nasty bruise on his cheek -- snaps to consciousness upon hearing, "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty." Logan discovers that he's tied to a bed and has a masked goon leaning over him who's wearing nothing but black. Well, Logan's had a rough episode, so I'm glad to see he's at least woken up to a familiar situation. The goon, who I think might be Thumper, tells Logan that he's on trial for Felix's murder. Indicating another thug across the room, Thug One informs Logan that Thug Two will be the judge and jury, while Thug One will be the prosecution. If that's the case, I'm sure not anxious to have a run-in with the bailiff. By the way, when Logan first got abducted, I definitely thought for a moment that it could be the Fitzpatricks, but that idea went out the window once the questioning began. Thug One flips open a cell phone and calls someone. Once he's connected, he asks Logan what happened to Felix that night on the bridge. Logan says he doesn't know. I think Logan really needs to start paying more attention to his studies, because I think even kids who didn't figure out how to put their name on their SAT would have guessed that was the wrong answer. Proving me correct, Thug One hears from whoever's on the other end of the line (ostensibly Weevil), and then gives Thug Two the go-ahead to approach. He spins the wheel of the gun and then locks it as Thug One lets him know that this is like Russian roulette, only Logan's the only one playing. Thug Two points the gun at Logan's arm as Logan starts yelling in desperation. This chamber, however, turns out to be empty. Thug One asks Logan again what happened on the bridge, and you'd think that if double jeopardy applied anywhere, it would be here. Logan swears he can't remember, but Thug One says Logan's a killer, just like his father. Jason Dohring shrieks in well-acted fear as Thug Two cocks the gun again, but when he fires, the chamber is empty again. On the other hand, I'd bet that Logan's boxers are steadily approaching capacity. Thug One hears from his master again, and suggests that Logan doesn't care enough about what's being threatened, so they should try some "more valuable real estate." I thought at first Thug Two moved the gun to point at Logan's junk, but as Wing Chun correctly pointed out, it's aimed at his kneecap. Which makes sense, because as much as Weevil wants to know the truth, there are parts of Logan he'd really rather keep undamaged. You know -- just in case. Logan screamingly pleads that he doesn't know anything, and after a tense moment on the phone, Thug One calls an end to the proceedings. Maybe he couldn't take the smell.