Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT A Knight To Remember
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.31.2001
...we're back in Not!tingham, where Lady Crimp High admits that she has one. Question, that is. Wasn't that cunning, that thing they did there? Lady Crimp High would like to know why Pre-Raige believes Road Kill will return to Not!tingham when "good magic" saved him from her Eeevil clutches. Pre-Raige knows he won't return. That's why she intends to travel into the future to "destroy the good magic that intervened." Lady High doubts that Pre-Raige can accomplish this. Pre-Raige begs to differ. She'll succeed "because [she's] petty, and [Eeevil], and vindictive." "But most of all," she claims, "I'm determined." With a flick of her wrist, The Improbable Portcullis flies up into the ceiling. Pre-Raige places a dagger at Lady High's throat. Lady High reminds Pre-Raige that she is Road Kill's twue wove, and that if Pre-Raige kills her, the spell that hijacked twue wove for purposes nefarious will be broken. Pre-Raige was just fooling with Lady High. She merely needs a lock of the lady's hair for a potion that will take her to Road Kill's current location. Pre-Raige gathers the lock by yanking down hard on the crimp job and slicing off a jagged hank. Lock raped, Pre-Raige turns away and with another dismissive flick of her wrist slams The Improbable Portcullis back to the floor. Lady High bleats defiantly, but Pre-Raige tells her to cram it. She drops the raped lock into a bubbling pot of liquid, and the potion belches a cloud of white smoke...
...that shoots us over to THE BLACK HOLE OF SOCIAL SERVICES. Indoors at the Xerox machine, Raige and The Horror refuse to go back to the Manor with the Dolt. She then chides him for spying on her. The Dolt explains that he's simply attempting to protect her, especially now that she's endangered by Crappy CGI Guy. Raige is in no mood for this. She's tried the witch thing, it was fun for a while, but now she wants to be free to "climb a mountain or dive the Great Barrier Reef" if she so chooses. The mountain-and-reef reference confounds the Dolt. Maybe he should have stuck around for the pillow talk after all. He plays the "this is your destiny and you can't run from it" card. She trumps him by recapping the inconveniences this "destiny" has introduced to her life as of late, namely "being hunted by The Source, ducking the Furies, and being shrunk by a psycho demon." She then overplays her hand, inadvertently mentioning that Phoebe and Piper want her to move into Halliwell Manor "for all the wrong reasons." The Dolt furrows his tanned brow. Raige mutters that the Manor Ps think of her as a Prue replacement -- another "Superwitch." Not only can't Raige live up to their unreasonable expectations, but she wants to be accepted for who she is, flaws and all. She notes that the Manor Ps maintain Prue's room as if it were "a shrine," and suggests it might be they who aren't quite prepared for her, rather than the other way around. She sighs as if she realizes she's overshared, then turns to leave. "I'll call you if I need you," she says, and sashays on out.
Manor parlor. Phoebe scries for Road Kill as Piper enters from the kitchen on a cell phone. She's talking to Detective Darryl, who is most upset. We quickly learn the cause of his migraine. Road Kill's appropriation of the garbage truck has been reported as a swordpoint car-jacking. The boys in the precinct house are understandably puzzled. Piper prevaricates and promises to call him back if they learn anything about it. Phoebe's scrying is fruitless. As Road Kill is neither witch nor demon, there's nothing for her crystal to sense. Piper calls for the Dolt, who orbs in to reveal that Raige has no intention of returning to the Manor at any point in the near future. Piper bitches about Raige's unreliability. Despite his unwillingness to mire himself in the swampy relationship issues the gals have with each other, the Dolt allows that Raige's unreliability isn't the problem. It's the Manor Ps' custom of thinking of Raige as a collection of powers they can exploit, rather than as a sister. Busted, Piper and Phoebe pout. The Dolt suggests they consult the BoS for the details of Raige's "fairy tale" while he heads out for a chat with The Powers That Be. Piper examines her nails while Phoebe stares off to the side.