Episode Report Card Aaron: C+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Dead Man's Hand
By Aaron | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 04.13.2002
Nate arrives at this point, and Brenda warns Scrunchieface not to mention the whole hooker thing, because he wouldn't approve. I can't imagine why. I know I'm always thrilled when my girlfriends jack-off random strangers. But maybe that's just because I'm used to it by now. After the obligatory introductions (where you can just see how much it pains Brenda to refer to Nate as her "fiancé"), Nate mentions the DGDJ, and asks if the girls have ever heard of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Obviously Brenda has, and Hooker Scrunchieface even adds the fact that the "fetish community" refers to it as "breath-play." A quick search on Google confirms that fact to be true, and also turns up a disturbingly high number of results. Sometimes the Internet frightens me. Nate can't decide whether dying that way should be considered suicide or not, because even though the guy didn't want to die, he still knew it was a possibility. Also, in hair-related news this week, Nate is actually clean-shaven, so instead of stubble he's chosen to sport a little Alfalfa-style cowlick on the back of his head. Man Peter Krause just can't win with me, can he? Although he does at least earn points for washing his armpits every now and then. After some good-natured mocking of career choices between Brenda and Nate, Scrunchie wants to know if they're "one of those couples that likes to bicker in front of the company until it gets really uncomfortable and [she] has to leave so [they] can fuck." Heh. Nate and Brenda both deny it, but I think they doth protest a bit too much. Also, in "fuck"-related news, Nate is still 0-for-the-episode so far. But don't worry. Rico will soon be picking up the fucking slack.
Up in David's No Longer Lawyer Loving Loft, the game of ex-boyfriend phone tag continues. Now Keith is calling to say that he wants to take David out to dinner. David sits up and takes notice of that one, and pauses to ask what he might be getting himself into by agreeing to go. "Oh would you just shut up and say yes already?" asks Keith, and David quickly does just that. Aww. Michael C. Hall is so damn cute. Marry me, Michael.
Downstairs in the kitchen, Ruth is fixing dinner for one. In a not-at-all surprising development, she turns out to be anal retentive even about the placement of food on her plate. She precisely aligns one pork chop, two potatoes, and three Brussels sprouts into perfectly straight lines, and as she sits down to eat alone, we fade to white. In all fairness to Ruth, my father is exactly the same way. He (much like Seinfeld) is one of those people who hates it when foods mingle.