Episode Report Card Cate: C | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Bitch, bitch, bitch
By Cate | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.26.2000
Grandmaster S tries to make his escape when he sees his sisters, but they flag him down and ask him about his buddy Flashdance, whose name turns out to be Norton. Jeez, no wonder the poor kid's so violent. If this were some other show, I'd entertain the possibility that naming this geek Norton was a sly reference to The Onion's Herbert "H-Dog" Kornfeld, "Tha Lowdown Funky-Fresh Gangsta Bad Ass of the Accountz Reeceevable Department of Midstate Office Supply." But dude, come on, it's 7th Heaven. Lucy asks Simon about his clothes. He seems inordinately proud of the "few adjustments" he made to his clothes to get such a fresh and not-at-all-clichéd look. Lucy informs him, "Your friend called me a name and slapped me on the butt in the record store." Aw, man, I can't believe they used the word "butt" on a G-rated show. We should start some kind of letter-writing campaign. Maybe Pat Buchanan can help us out. I doubt he has much else to do these days. Simon tries to argue that Tha N-Dog was just joking around. Ugh, whatever. Lucy does a good job of standing up for herself and explaining to Simon why she should not be treated with disrespect. I think that's cool, but I'm not entirely sure why she's asking Simon to "do something." I hope it's just because those are his friends and not because she thinks she can't take care of herself, because she did a pretty job of that back in the record store.
We never get to hear Simon's reaction because SuperMom strolls up just then. Grandmaster S introduces Annie and Lucy to Tha N-Dog, who strolls around Annie, gazing at her as lasciviously as an actor of his caliber can manage. He says, "So this is your mother. I see the resemblance, and I like it." Huh? First of all, Norton would have to have an IQ of 34 to talk to his friend's mother that way. And secondly, whose looks, exactly, does he like, Annie's or Simon's? I'm not real clear on that. Another cretin walks up and says, "What you say, mama?" Annie replies, "I say you're all pathetic." Word, Annie, though you might want to include some of your children and their lame sub-plots in that assessment. Tha N-Dog tries to tell Annie she has no business on the street because she respects "no man." He offers to teach her about respect. She says, "You want a piece of this? I brought seven kids into this world. I can take one out." So it's a little dorky, but I can respect her here. I just wish she hadn't been thumping her chest and making goofy faces. Okay, I'm slightly ashamed to admit this, but the visual made me laugh really hard. Still, I have to give the writers credit for trying. And they've got the reactions of the little gang down well. When confronted, Tha N-Dog and his posse are definitely cowards, and they prove it by retreating.