Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ding Dong, Daniels is Dead!
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.07.2004
Enterprise. Reed notes that the sh'pod's history, and Hoshi says she's lost the boys' signal, but picked up something else. "It's faint," she says, all choked up, before making it available for all to hear. We can sort of hear Quantum calling them. T'Pol's lips CRACK WHORE out, and she answers him.
Alicia runs out of bullets and slumps, whimpering, next to Quantum, who whispers to T'Pol to transport them out. The Nazis approach. Camel Taupe orders them to stand up without their weapons. Alicia glares at Quantum and drops her gun. They step out in front of the Nazis and Camel Taupe. "We have a great deal to talk about," Camel Taupe says. Quantum feels himself start to dissolve, so he feels safe in snarking, "It'll have to wait." The beam out, and the Nazis fire fruitlessly.
Transporter pad. Quantum and Alicia beam in, and Quantum welcomes her to his ship. Now where have I seen this EXACT SCENE before? I wonder. Alicia makes him promise he "won't do that again." He promises. Whatever -- her atoms just got scattered across the galaxy and she's all calmly, "Please ask next time"? I don't think so.
"The way I see it is that next week, the Alienazis will take over Enterprise and construct a beacon on the deflector dish to call out to the Alienazis that live in that century, while Quantum destroys a room full of toy ships, OR T'Pol will go to the Alienazi headquarters, where she will seduce and may or may not actually have sex with the commander in order to distract him, while Quantum steals the time machine and affixes it to Enterprise even though it's in violation of treaty, OR Mayweather's head will be left in a cave in order to save the ship but they will find it again when they go back in time and Mayweather will put it back on again," the Evil Dr. Mathra hypothesizes. What can I say? The boy's got the looks of a Hollywood star and the brains of a genius.
Alicia and Quantum step onto the Bridge. Hoshi flings herself at Quantum. Reed welcomes him back. T'Pol just CRACK WHORES her lips AND eyes and doesn't answer him when Quantum asks about their status. Great scene, because, you know, Hoshi and T'Pol are women and must therefore be the most emotional ones in it. I'm not saying they shouldn't feel something for getting their captain back from the grave, again; I'm just wondering why they have to be the only ones. And don't give me some wanked-out bullshit that Reed went back to his quarters and wrote in his diary about how he almost cried that day -- if it's not on screen, it didn't happen.