Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT So Long, My Lovelies
By Miss Alli | Season 16 | Episode 6 | Aired on 03.12.2008
Hey, it's a shot of a spider catching an insect in its web. What could this mean? Let's all put our heads together and see if we can crack the code. The insect-capturing code. The Da-Pinchy Code.
Oh my God, I am very, very sorry.
Tracy and Erik now have a chat about how "vicious" the "favorites" are, and she tells him she thinks he's probably next on the list to go. "That pisses me off," he says mildly, and it took me like ten minutes to figure out that the reason this was so hilarious to me is that his regular voice sounds exactly like my old pal Snowmobile Boy's "dumb guy" voice. Seriously, the syllable I've heard in that voice most often until now? Was "duuuuuh." Usually as part of a story about a guy who snaps his spine trying to kill a fish with a shotgun while jumping over open water in a snowmobile. It's weirdly appropriate that Erik is chewing with his mouth open the whole time. Anyway, Tracy goes on to tell Erik that he's not going to be brought along with these other people, so they have to get a "favorite" to vote with them if they want to save themselves from an inevitable Pagonging.
Somewhere else, Ozzy is futzing around with the chicken feed, and Cirie asks him what he's doing. He tells her he's removing the oyster shells. Chicken feed includes oyster shells? Where have I been? What good are oyster-shell fragments to a chicken? (Yes, that does sound kind of like something that would be in a patter song in Big River. "How 'bout a hand for the hen!") And then Amanda says something about how Ozzy looks like a chicken farmer, and I have no idea whether this is supposed to look like endearing couple-banter or like almost supernaturally banal small talk taking place between a couple of heads of cabbage. (It's the second one, for me. In case you couldn't tell.) I totally don't get how Ozzy is getting away with wearing that enormous hat -- under which he held the idol at one point and maybe will again -- which looks like it's on the front cover of a Dr. Seuss book called What's That In My Hat?. Don't any of these people have any natural curiosity?
Ami takes a little walk with Tracy. It's fairly clear that Ami doesn't feel any particular alliance to Ozzy, Amanda, or Cirie, so she's a free agent at this point -- remember, her original alliance was with Yau-Man, Jonathan, and Eliza. It appears that Cirie and company are taking Ami completely for granted, which isn't that surprising, but is very, very stupid. Ami is precisely the kind of person to do something that sort of makes no sense just to draw attention to herself, as she did when she voted for Twila over Chris in the final vote in Vanuatu. She's exactly the person you'd expect to make this exact move -- "You people are bad, and you're acting wrong, so I'm going to go with these good people instead." As Ami and Tracy talk, it seems like they also sort of bond over being women who see themselves as bad-asses, and Ami explains the need for courage by telling Tracy that you can't turn into "poop-pants." Or maybe that should be "Poop-pants," like "Mr. Poop-pants." I really don't know whether Poop-pants is a gentleman or a state of mind. Tracy is a smart lady, as we know, and I think she remembers that Ami is all about bonding with women, because it's Tracy who wraps an arm around Ami's shoulders as they walk, all "we're sisters now," and with Ami, that's the right move, for sure. Next up -- say it with me -- French braids. Incidentally, note that in addition to Jonathan's knee and Parvati's lip, Ami hurt her knee badly enough in that challenge that she's still got it wrapped. That's badly done, challenge planners. You shouldn't have that kind of injury tally -- and that doesn't even count what could have happened to Jason when he went face-first into the tree, a collision in which he could easily have lost his front teeth. Exciting within the context of extreme sports is one thing; four potentially serious accidents in one challenge is idiotic and means you maybe fell down on the job; I'm just saying.