Episode Report Card Drunken Bee: B | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Great and Noble Men of Dillon Panther Football
By Drunken Bee | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 03.20.2007
At the Taylors. Coach is stuttering himself into a corner, trying to tell his daughter that they have her interests in mind in moving. He tells her how arty Austin is, and "you're arty." He tells her how much "culture" there is there, "a lot of dance...you, you love dance." She gives him the silent treatment. "There's a hell of a lot of dance. There's dancing all over Austin," he continues. Tami gives him the "Stop Being Weird" eyes, but he keeps barreling through. "They've got an excellent ballet. They've got some top-notch ballet-ers." At this Julie grabs her bag and books from the table, whirls around, and fixes her father with the Teen Death Glare. Coach responds, "Oh, 'The Look,' that's a great look," but no weak-assed fatherly sarcasm can possibly defuse the nuclear power of that Teen Death Glare.
At the Alamo Freeze, Matt Saracen talks to Landry and Julie about something...some kind of sport or something...where a ball is thrown around, and some entity called an "defensive line" is important and causing him anxiety? I do not know of what he speaks. In any case, Matt is worried about losing and riding the bench the next year. Landry tells Matt he'll never be second-string again, that Coach loves him, that Matt is Coach's "Seabiscuit." Julie giggles, but then clams up when Landry poses a question she can't answer too truthfully: "You will always be QB1 as long as Coach is here. Right, Julie?" She looks down and says yes.
Tattoo Girl drives Jason back towards Dillon. It turns out the refrigerator in her trunk was not euphemistic. There is an actual refrigerator she hopes to deliver. So much for that new sex catchphrase. Jason is explaining how the town hates him because he's suing the football team. Susie wants to know why he doesn't leave, because she can't understand why anyone would stay where they weren't wanted. Cut the "Fly Free, Butterfly" crap, lady. Jason reminds her (and us) that he's engaged, and then says Dillon is the only home he knows and he can't imagine going anywhere else anytime soon. She changes the (boring) subject and asks him, "How 'bout Stonehenge II?" and then tells him that's where they're stopping next.
Tami's office. Angela is in there, trying and failing to focus her Valium eyes. Tami tells Tyra's mom that she's worried Tyra is riding on her looks but that she wants her to start using her brain, "cuz, you know, that looks thing isn't gonna last forever." Ouch. And to a woman who just lost her famously perky ass in a tragic accident. Angela says she's unclear why she's there, and Tami clarifies that she wants to tag-team Tyra with Angela. Whoa there, lady. That sounds downright European. Angela resists Tami's suggestion that Tyra is messing up -- defensively saying that it isn't like Tyra is a criminal (which, actually, she is with the drinking and party-money laundering). Tami backpedals and tells Angela she just wants them to both help Tyra reach her potential. When she gets the Opiate Face in response, she provides some actual motivating information: "Tyra is at great risk of not graduating from high school." Way to bury the lede, lady.