Episode Report Card Cate: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Teased
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.30.2001
In his office, RevCam is trying to get through to Sergeant Michaels. Boy, he must be peeved that Michaels isn't at his beck and call. Shouldn't the sergeant be waiting for him by the special CamPhone? Unfortunately for us, Chandler's Mom has arrived, and she's ready to have her Very Important Talk with The Good RevCam. Hope you're not sick of the teasing theme yet, because this story's a doozy. Here goes: Bird's brother, Ben, was the kindest, sweetest person around. He had a clubfoot, and their father used to tease him, since he suffered from the same hereditary condition himself and had always been sensitive about it. Ben had a child who inherited the same problem. When Ben's father first saw the baby, he made a joke about the baby's foot. Ben was so upset that he took his wife and child and left town, never to be heard from again. He didn't even leave a forwarding address for Bird.
See, if someone told me this story in person, I'd probably be in tears. But there's just something about it being on this show that makes me, well, want to laugh. For the record, I don't think there's anything at all funny about families being torn apart, or about medical conditions (well, except for the one that makes men think it's a good idea to grow a soul patch). But this story, like so many of the others that have graced this show, has that old-time evangelical preacher feel to it, where anyone who does not subscribe to the preached way of life ends up suffering from some extravagant tragedy. I remember perusing the web site of a controversial Christian college whose founder liked to tell stories of what happened to those who made the hideous mistake of attending secular schools. These wretched souls, so traumatized by having to learn about things like science and philosophy, invariably returned home with ruined morals and shattered lives. I also remember reading a parody of a hygiene booklet in National Lampoon, in which every teenager who indulged in masturbation ended up being run over by a bus. I doubt the National Lampoon piece provided much inspiration for the 7th Heaven writers (although I'd love to see a treatment of that episode), but I would be plenty surprised if the Evangelical Guilt tradition didn't have a hand in shaping this show. And I'm here to tell you that it sucks. Why should I feel sorry for this Ben guy? It's too bad he had a clubfoot and a nasty father who teased him. But did he have to leave town? Couldn't he just have cut ties with his father, or tried to understand why the man was so cruel? And why did he cut himself off from his loving sister, making her so unhappy in the process? Doesn't that make him something of a dick?
To prove how pure and noble Bird is, she wants RevCam's help in forgiving her father for his cruelty. For once, Eric gives some good advice about how it may not be in her power to forgive, so she should turn it over to God and move on with her life, and with trying to find the brother who didn't care enough about her to keep in touch. Bird sighs and says, "You can't imagine what a relief that would be." Can you imagine how relieved I'll be when this episode is over? At least Simon interrupts RevCam's counseling session with Bird before it gets too sappy. I'm all prepared to diss Simple Simon for being rude yet again, but he does say that it's "a matter of life and death."