Episode Report Card Michael Neal: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Life Makes You Sweet Food
By Michael Neal | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 01.08.2009
At 30 Rock, Jenna wants to know where the Janis Joplin movie is in production. She wants it out there before the Julia Roberts movie. Jack is still working on obtaining song and image rights from the Joplin estate. Can we, for a moment, pause to consider what the Janis Joplin estate would look like? I have two guesses: attic apartment in the Castro, in San Francisco, rented by a woman who owns enough cats to die from their feces, or, a large farm in rural Mississippi with zero livestock and one meth lab. Meanwhile, Lemon calls Stuart at work. He's really busy, but Lemon wants to explain her erratic behavior. She's been baby crazy of late, but asks Stuart to give her another chance. "Maybe this can be something." His answer: "Liz, at this point in my life maybe isn't good enough." Lemon asks him to meet her at the Brooklyn Bridge on Saturday at 2 PM, like in the Sex and the City movie, to decide if they should give it another go. That sounds like a practical solution. Who needs text messages, or emails, or phone calls, or regular mail, or faxes, or subway graffiti, or skywriting anyway? Steve and Miranda did the same thing! Stuart has no idea what she's talking about but he agrees.Jack shows up at Prospect Park for Elisa's niece's debutante ball. The whole family is doing the Macarena when she spots him and walks over. Let me just stop and say that Salma Hayek is what both God, and Satan, would come up with for the perfect woman. She's wearing a red dress. She's got it. You think they showed Salma Hayek's boobs so much on 30 Rock to distract from the pseudo-racism of playing "Macarena" in the background? Thinking... Yes. Jack thanks Elisa for all her help. I suspect it's more about the hand down his pants. He is awaiting the results from a biopsy. Elisa asks him to stay at the party. Jack accepts, and is immediately handed a baby and a plate of food.
When he returns to 30 Rock, Jack is confronted by Liz's problem. She doesn't know what to do about Stuart. "Here's what we don't do," instructs Jack. "Be alone. We were never meant to be alone." Jackie boy has changed his tune. I guess that's what nut cancer and Salma Hayek's cleavage will do. He tells Lemon about his testicle problem, but that he's not scared. He doesn't have to be alone. "I'm in love with my mother's nurse." Jack's cell phone rings. It's his doctor with his test results. Jack can't bring himself to answer the phone. Lemon refuses to, but Tracy answers. "The test was positive." Jack breaks down. "No. I mean positive like it's good. The test results were negative." Then Tracy laughs at the confusion. Did I mention he's wearing a knight's uniform and has that Battlefield Earth hair?