Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Wayne In Pain
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 02.25.2007
At 4:16:55, Chad Lowe is taking a moment in his office to send a few emails on his boss's behalf in order to conceal Tom's absence. It's only partially successful, though; as soon as Chad Lowe goes out in the hallway, Wayne's pint-sized secretary Melinda accosts him and asks where some stuff is that she's expecting from Tom. Chad Lowe says that it's on its way via email. He starts to walk off, but hurries back when Melinda asks whether Tom's in his office. Chad Lowe lies that Tom's in Conference Room B. All rules of television physics state that this means Melinda was just in Conference Room B herself, and this is no exception. She says that the Secret Service is meeting there. Wait, should she be telling people that? Kind of takes the "Secret" out of it. Chad Lowe says that they must have switched rooms, and offers to track down Tom for her. He walks away, rolling his eyes at himself and how much he sucks. Jeez, Chad Lowe, how hard is it to conceal the fact that the White House Chief of Staff is missing inside the White House Bunker, anyway?
At CTU, Morris is either scowling very hard at his monitor, or is attempting to type with his eyebrows. Either way, he's not having much success. Sensing his frustration from across the room (because she is nothing if not exquisitely tuned in to the emotional nuances of others), Chloe comes over and asks Morris what's up. He states his technobabble problem, and she quickly gives him her technobabble solution. "Oh, what an idiot," Morris says to himself, and thanks Chloe for her help. She doesn't leave, though, because she wants to ask if he called his sponsor. Morris is a little grumpy about the question, but he tells her, "We had this long talk. I feel a lot better. Really." I think he's kidding about the long talk, since he hasn't been offscreen for more than ten minutes in a row since his slip. But he seems to be serious, and Chloe buys it. Mostly. That's not enough for Morris, who sarcastically offers to install a breathalyzer at his workstation. Dude, dial back the attitude. You're the one who walked into the Situation Room smelling like Lynchburg, Virginia. Chloe says that she just wants to be sure he's okay. Morris: "I helped terrorists arm a nuclear bomb today. I'm not going to be okay for a long time. That doesn't mean to say I can't do my job." And then he stomps off to do his technobabbling elsewhere.
Morris left his PDA behind, though, and at 4:19:02, Chloe grabs it and pulls up an entry for "JEANNIE T - AA SPONSOR," complete with phone number. Does Chloe not know what that second A stands for? ["Also, ER told me that mixed-sex sponsor/sponsee pairings are not advised." -- Wing Chun] Chloe's still writing down the number when Nadia finds her there and asks where Morris is. She grumps that he's supposed to be working on Gredenko's land line, and Chloe says that "he's juggling a lot right now." Including, of course, a hidden fifth of whisky (spoiler!). Chloe says that they're shorthanded, especially since Milo has once again vanished without explanation and will likely not be seen again until Season 11 (and with that phrase, the future ghost of my forty-two-year-old self begins screaming). Nadia is more concerned that Morris is having issues. "He's been tortured," she reminds us, like people don't get over that in an hour or so on this show, and suggests that Morris be pulled. Chloe says that they still need him. Buchanan glances over at this little tête-à-tête from the Situation Room, as Nadia says that she'll be keeping her eye on Morris and plans to go to Buchanan if she sees a problem. "Fine," Chloe snits, and goes back to spying on her ex-husband her own self. She dials her cell phone, gets the voicemail for Jeannie T, and leaves a message asking her to call back. Except that she leaves that same 310 number Dad left for Kiefer, which means that Jeannie's about to be very surprised to be talking to former president Charles Logan. After a shock like that, she's going to need a stiff drink.