Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Get out, Nate. Seriously.
By Sobell | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 04.12.2003
Then we slip through a hole in the space-time continuum because we're now back at brunch, and unless this brunch turns into brinner, this whole plot has got to be taking place much earlier in the day than everything else is. Anyway, David is peeing in the bathroom when Keith comes in and practically begs, "Are you ready to get out of here?" No, David is not. Keith says he's going to take off, and David quickly gets conciliatory, and Keith says they can leave together if it's just going to be a little longer. David doesn't think that's going to be the case: "It's going to be another few hours; these guys take their brunches very seriously." Keith then makes plans to take off, and David'll catch a ride with another leading lady. I do like how Keith's been looking through the medical cabinet while he's been talking. He does look down to comment on how much David's peeing -- the result of roughly seven mimosas and way too much coffee. Keith pecks David goodbye and takes off while David's still emptying his system of caffeine and alcohol.
Nate's reading to Maya and ignoring one of the seven bottles of breast milk when Lisa comes in the door. He asks how it went, and Lisa answers happily, "It was amazing. There was this booth where you could taste all kinds of truffles --" "Like chocolate?" Nate asks. "No, no, no. The mushroom things. They were, like, two bucks for a paper-thin slice. Ah! They were so good. Oh, they tasted like chocolate and mushrooms and soy sauce and everything, all at once. It was amazing!" Nate's so amazed, he's retreated into the book Maya's reading; he mumbles, "Sounds like it." ["Instead of snapping, 'Um, PROBLEM PURCHASE!' as I no doubt would have done." -- Sars] Lisa continues, "Dana was essentially stalked by this guy who was trying to sell a smoothie franchise. He followed us around the convention center for, like, an hour with his little tray of smoothie flavors. Dana finally had to kind of hit him. How was your day?" Nate tells her it was okay -- he ended up taking Maya to the funeral, and there's no way that he ended up spending a few hours with his ex talking about what hollow emotional shams their lives are now.
Predictably, Lisa loses her shit. After putting Maya in a chair so the hostile vibes won't damage her aura or anything, Lisa comes back and begins quizzing Nate. "Did Brenda hold Maya?" Nate answers that Maya slept nearly the whole time. "Did she look at her?" Lisa continues. Why? Does Brenda's gaze routinely turn people to stone? Nate's a little irritated by this question too, and he answers in the affirmative. Lisa's all worked up, and she asks, "Did [Brenda] touch her?" Nate's all, "I guess, yeah." Lisa gets more irrational with, "So you swear she didn't hold her." And that's when the "Don't Make Any Long-Term Plans, Nate" sign lit up in bright neon and begin flashing in back of Lisa's head, what with it finally becoming apparent that his wife has enough issues to make the Library of Congress's periodical section look like a dentist's waiting room. Nate asks, reasonably, if it would have mattered whether or not Brenda held the baby, and Lisa flips out with, "Do you care about me at all?" Nate protests that he does -- a little too automatically, like it's a mantra he repeats before he cries himself to sleep -- and Lisa's all, "Then don't let your old girlfriends hold our baby!" Nate avoids pointing out that Brenda's actually an old fiancée, but in any case, he's not getting why this is an issue. Lisa babbles, "It's not that complicated, Nate. Anyone who knows that other people exist would have already figured it out!" What, that you're crazy?