Episode Report Card Keckler: B | 78 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT The Importance of Being Earnest Borgnine
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 23 | Aired on 2003.05.07
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.The Borg make what we all fear is their first of many guest appearances on Enterprise and the usual havoc wreaking ensues. When the Borg put some human and Tarkalian faces on sub-space milk cartons, Quantum of Arc predictably wants to run off and rescue them, even though T'Pol feels the exact opposite. Phlox gets bitten by the Borgtse-Borgtse fly and decides that the physician must heal thyself. Sadly, he must have eaten the paper he wrote the cure on since there's gotta be some wanked out reason why the Borg-tidote doesn't survive over the centuries. Word of caution: May showers bring anvils popping up like stinkweed in the final scene. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We are Berman of Braga. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated into not caring about continuity ever, ever again. Also, you love the song. You want to marry the song. Ear plugs and alcoholism are reportedly futile.
Seriously? Why did they do it? I cannot understand their reasoning for retreading a plot and an arc and a story and a denouement and all the other literary jargon out there when these people, these writers are paid to BE CREATIVE! After Voyager, the Borg does not scare. The Borg bores, and yes, Bermaga, there actually IS a difference. You know, I just can't. I'm too friggin' tired from ranting the same old bile in so many recaps over the past two years. You wore me down, Bermaga, and all I can say is that you suck. You suck for not coming up with something original. You suck for ruining the Borg in the last series and not acknowledging the fact that you ruined them. And you suck for not even getting trying to get Borg facts correct. I mean, what the hell is with the six Borg being downed by the same type of weapon before they adapted?! Did you even bother with an explanation? But do know how you suck the most? For just being so lousy that you've siphoned all my creativity away and the worst word I can come up with is "suck." So suck this, Bermaga. And you think I'm mad now? Just wait until my sexism rant next week when you put T'Pol "in heat" while the two of you giggle like the prattish schoolboys you are.
Luckily, you seem to employ some sort of smidgen of talent on your staff and on the soundstage. Billingsley as usual rocked the screen left, right, and cross-eyed, as did Linda Park who we do not see integrated into enough episodes. Dominic Keating is making slow steps towards recovering his dignity lost so long ago (and again with his Bum Check last week) and really shone in this episode. And it wasn't just the sparkly lip gloss, either. The pacing was fairly good, and there actually were some tense moments in there, but still -- it's the Borg, guys. I just can't get past that gross failing on the part of the writers not to do something other than what's already been done to death, resurrected from the grave, and just done again.
Arctic Circle. In the midst of a gigglenormous destroyed ship, three humans (for now) find a few Ice Borgs. I was half expecting a Borg fist to come bursting through the skating rink and grab onto one of the scientists ankles. What -- you think Bermaga wouldn't stoop?