Episode Report Card Daniel: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jack On Crack
By Daniel | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 10.03.2006
Cut to Christian pulling up at the swanky Lynford Hotel, the kind of place where art on the walls consists of a giant red square. I think it speaks to man's tempestuous relationship with nature. Either that or it's a commentary on man's inability to say, "Fuck is that? I asked for a painting!" Unsurprisingly, Jack (still wearing his O.R. scrubs) pulls up just after his father does and follows him inside. Jack follows his dad through a door with a paper sign on it -- "Friends of Bill W." If that has some significance, I don't know what it is, but I suppose it beats "Friends of Jack D." or "Friends of Johnnie W.," considering what this place turns out to be.
Inside the room, Christian's getting coffee, when he sees an intense Jack stomping up to him. "Give me your cell phone," snaps Jack, and Christian tries to calm him. "Look where you are, Jack. I mean, just look around you, please," he says. There are several people there, all drinking coffee, and there's a poster with twelve certain steps on it. But Jack doesn't care; he just wants his dad's phone. And in the funniest line on this show ever, a woman, clearly the moderator or facilitator or group leader or whatever, looks at the unshaven psycho in the doctor costume and chirps, "You must be Jack!" She invites Jack to pull up a chair and join them. Jack's surprised that she knows who he is, and the moderator says Christian's told them all about him. She doesn't seem to be implying anything; it could just as easily be Christian bragging about his hotshot doctor son, but Jack flies into a rage, asking if Christian has told them that his son "never really had it, not like the old man." He's yelling at his father, and I'm sorry -- I'm pretty sure this isn't supposed to be, but this is hi-lar-ious. "I didn't have the will to make it work? My life, my job, my marriage?" Jack wants to know what Christian told them about Jack's marriage. "You want to know how he manages his marriage? A bottle of scotch every night before dinner." Like, it's an AA meeting, Jack. That's what they're there for. It's not like the group at your Assholes Anonymous meeting would be shocked to hear about this.
The moderator says Christian has been sober fifty days now, and they're very proud of that. I'm impressed. I can't remember the last time I spent fifty hours sober. But Jack suggest that maybe a new "lady friend" helped him turn the corner.
Christian's finally had enough and says he won't let Jack talk to him that way, and Jack says he won't let Christian talk to his wife, which is awfully paternalistic of him. He looks like he's starting to walk away, as Christian yells after him to let it go. It turns out Jack was only walking away so he could get some room to charge his father, which he does, and tackles him, the both of them knocking over the twelve steps display. "Ow! My spleen!" yells Christian. At least I'm pretty sure he did.