Episode Report Card Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Crazy-Ass Merry-Go-Round
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 10.23.2011
Going for the gut, Caroline says, "I could choose to be in the tabloids, but I choose to be a mother to my children." Boom! Teresa asks, "What happened to you?" Caroline: "You happened to me." She says she doesn't want to waste any more time and tells Teresa, "You are full of shit." Teresa says the same to her, and Caroline calls that "the biggest compliment in the world. The day that I have your approval... is the day that I go cry in a corner." Teresa tells her to look at her own family, and Caroline says she talks to eight out of 10 her siblings, and "I would talk to nine out of 10 if it weren't for you." Caroline admits she hasn't spoken to Dina in months, nor has Jacqueline. She wishes Jacqueline had come to confirm that.
Speaking of Jacqueline, Andy moves to a package about Bratshley (do I have to call her Bratshlee now?). Caroline acknowledges that Chris was hurt by comments by Bratz about how "money can't buy a relationship." She claims Bratz texted him to apologize the minute it aired. She says Jacqueline is the way she is with Bratz because of her guilt. When asked how she would handle things, Kathy refuses to put herself in Jacqueline's place. Andy wonders if Bratz seeing herself on the show has given her any self-awareness. Not so much, implies Caroline, though she thinks Bratz has potential yet.
Talk turns to the Wakile side of the family (cue lots of eye rolling from Teresa). As you might expect, there's a shout-out to Rosie, but it comes to very little, save to say that she was much closer to Joe when they were kids. Andy asks about Kathy's Ramona-like talking with her eyes before throwing to a package about Kathy's family, most notably Richie's nut cracking monologue before Victoria's formal date.
They discuss Victoria's brush with death, and Teresa naturally hijacks the conversation. She's all, "I was there every day." Even as Kathy says, "Not so much," Teresa says it's because of that experience that she "always [has] a positive attitude" and doesn't take petty things too seriously. Cue Caroline head shake. Even Andy asks incredulously, "Do you not sweat the small stuff?" Teresa: "Exactly." Andy calls her bullshit, pointing out the various times Teresa has been derailed by sprinkle cookies or a snotty message on a card. Teresa's basic response is, "Oh, I don't sweat the small stuff. I retaliate, bitch!"
But what about Rich? Kathy explains that Rich has known the family since Teresa was 17. Teresa admits Richie's jab used to bother her, which is why she would "distant" herself from Kathy. Andy can't help himself. He says, "You'd distance yourself." Teresa's all, "What? Words?" Kathy thinks Teresa took issue because Juicy was laughing along with the words. Teresa insists the jokes crossed the line, such as some vaguely referenced holy water joke when Rich likened her to the devil. What? Like how Teresa called Melissa the Exorcist last week? You'd think of all people, that modern day comedienne known as Teresa Giudice would be able to take a joke. She coined the "one-sixteenth Italian" punch line. Classic!