Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | 6 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Hardy Boys Have A Furry Fetish
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.17.2007
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.This week, Our Intrepid Heroes are forced to take a detour to Black Rock, New York, when a storage company rings Daddy Shut Up's cell (which El Deano keeps active just in case, don't you know) to notify them of a possible theft at their worthless bastard of a so-called father's unit. Turns out two losers -- hired for the job by Bela, an aggravating broker of demonic trinkets -- broke into the place to snatch a voodoo rabbit's foot worth approximately one million dollars. Why so much? Because it brings whoever touches it unimaginable amounts of good luck. Why did Sucky John have it buried away in a remote storage facility beneath all sorts of protective charms? Because if the person who touches it then proceeds to lose it, that person dies! Dun-dun-DUN!
Naturally, after the boys track down the losers who stole it, Darling Sammy has to go and wrap one of his tremendous mitts around the thing, so when Bela of course slyly finagles it out of his possession, The Ginormotron has no choice but to spend the rest of the episode face-planting into asphalt, losing his shoes, battling unruly air conditioners, setting himself on fire, and getting shot in one of his remarkably broad shoulders, and it is far more amusing than it has any right to be. It's left to Dean, then, to confront Bela at her tastefully appointed loft in Long Island City, and after he successfully retrieves the cursed foot, Our Dear Boys salt it and burn it, thereby ending its mangy century-long rampage of terror across the face of the planet.
Oh, one more thing: Gordon Walker is back, and he's rounding up a posse of whackjobs even more batshit than he is to bring Darling Sammy down for good. We'll just see how well that whole plan works out for him, yes? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Rattle, Rattle THEN! Long story short, Dashing El Deano traded his life for that of his impossibly tall younger brother's, The Openly Demonic Hate Blonde might be able to get him out of that deal, and Gordon Walker was crazy, even more so after Our Intrepid Heroes got his psychotic ass slung into an Indiana jail. Are we all caught up? Excellent. Moving along!
Silence, Silence NOW! The disappointingly silent NOW! creeps forward on the screen until it's obliterated by an abrupt cross-fade to a length of concertina wire stretched across the chain-link fence that surrounds a rather penal-intensive collection of buildings. Somewhere deep inside, The Guy Who Unfortunately Shot Brandon Lee passes through security and eventually finds himself staring through a sheet of bulletproof glass in the visitors' area at a bald-headed gentleman of color we all know is Gordon "Whackjob" Walker even though we can't see his face, because they just devoted a full third of the THEN! to that particular nutbag's backstory. The Guy Who Unfortunately Shot Brandon Lee picks up the telephone receiver and confirms the Devil's Gate-related details of last season's finale for the lengthily incarcerated whackjob's benefit, and gossips that he knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Bobby, and that Bobby admitted he was "at Ground Zero" with Our Intrepid Heroes at the time, but stressed that they were there to prevent the entire disaster from occurring. Whackjob Gordon -- who still has Capital-I Issues with Our Dear Boys, The Ginormotron in particular -- scoffs at this fourth-hand version of events, insisting, "Bobby's edge ain't what it used to be. Sam could have him believing anything by now." "Listen," The Guy Who Unfortunately Shot Brandon Lee counters, "as far as talk goes? Sam Winchester checks out. He's a hunter, that's all." The rabid Sambitches on the forum boards would beg to differ, Guy Who Unfortunately Shot Brandon Lee: Darling Sammy's a hunter -- and so much more! Sigh. So anyway, Whackjob Gordon crazily titters at this before granting The Guy Who Unfortunately Shot Brandon Lee his actual character name for the evening when he asserts, "Kubrick, I'm not even sure he's human." Whackjob Gordon then crazies some long-out-of-date exposition regarding Darling Sammy's role in the impending demonic war before letting his eyes go dead as he states, "Sam Winchester must die!" Muah ha ha ha METAL TEETH CHOMP!