Episode Report Card Keckler: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Raiders of the Lost Vault
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 19 | Aired on 03.26.2002
"Where. Is. The. Vault?" Grish asks, looking down at something as Muk watches. "Do. You. Understand. Me?" Grish asks. Porthos, standing on the bed, barks and waves his tail, drawing a massive collective "Awwww!" from the Keckler household. "I can't lock onto its language," Grish says, playing with the Universal Translator. "It's a lower life form, you fool!" Muk says. "Probably the captain's next meal." Grish observes, "Don't be so sure. Look at the size of its ears." Hee. Muk picks up the pup and says he'll get a good price for him at the Malurzian Zoo. He holds Porthos in the air and examines him. Mathra thinks the writers missed an opportunity for a good joke here -- they should've made it look like the pup whizzed on Muk. It's bathroom humor, yes, but it always works. Think of what the Ferengi's reaction would have been. Felix joins them, says there's nothing there, and suggests searching the other quarters. Muk calls after them that he's had "enough of vault-hunting for one day" and tells them to "have fun."
Looking at another view of the Ferengi's scarab-like ship attached to Enterprise, I have to admit that I'm surprised the Ferengi didn't try to steal Quantum's ride. True, there's a fairly sizable crew aboard, who are going to be knocked out for only three hours, but if the Ferengi had dragged them into one holding area, tied them up, and locked them in, they would have had all the time in the world to assess the contents of the ship. Plus, they'd then have a ship much larger and more powerful than their own. And if they didn't know how to fly it, all they'd have to do is make one of the ensigns do it while pointing a phaser at him. It's just a thought.
In the shuttle bay, Muk pops Porthos into one of the storage containers and shuts the lid. Okay, not liking that at all. Trip makes a noise behind some piles of stuff and Muk pulls out a weapon, demanding, "Who's there?" He sees Trip scurry away, and fires at him as he leaves the shuttle bay. Muk pulls out a communicator and announces that "one of the aliens is awake" before pursuing him through the corridors. If Trip ran back right now to release Porthos, he would have my undying admiration, no matter how many of his drawls or DeCons I have to endure for the rest of the series. All six more years of it. Muk loses sight of Trip and enters the Mess Hall, where several crewman have their faces planted in their porridge. Trip camouflages himself among them by also having his face near (but not actually in) a plate of food. Muk walks past him, but turns around at the sound of heavy breathing. I didn't actually hear the heavy breathing -- and I did wonder what make Muk turn around and see Trip -- but Chester in Closed Captioning heard the heavy breathing and reported it, so that's what I'm going by. Though the sound people could have made it a little more obvious above The Music Of The Chase. Before Muk can fire, Trip tackles him at the knees and sends the Ferengi's phaser flying. With Trip on his back, Muk crawls across the floor, straining to reach the phaser, but Trip, channeling another brain-damaged sissy-fighter, bites the Ferengi's ear. Muk screams, and Trip punches him out. Amazing power that one punch must have had to send Muk into dreamland -- Trip must be Kirk's great-great-grandfather. Trip grabs the phaser and runs out. Straight into Felix, who snaps the phaser out of his hand with a Ferengi plasma-energy whip. "Why aren't you asleep?" Felix asks, and whips Trip directly in the chest, knocking him to the ground.