Episode Report Card Pamie: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Vote Or Die
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.11.2004
Dragonfly. I guess this place has a study, Miss Scarlett, because I've never seen this room before. Michel is on the phone, upset. He hangs up in a tizzy, prompting Lorelai to ask if Cameron and Justin are having problems again. It seems that Taylor is putting up a lot of red tape when it comes to requesting parking permits for the inn. This is their third attempt, and this time it has been denied due to the fact that Lorelai forgot to put her middle name on the request form. Lorelai says she's going to put her foot up Taylor's butt. "You always threaten to hurt him, but then you don't," Michel says. "You're a Taylor-tease." Lorelai leaves for coffee.
But Sookie won't let Lorelai have any coffee until she's tried some of Jackson's tomatoes. He's growing things with hydroponics now. "You know what that means," Sookie says. Jackson will have some killer weed? Oh. Year-round tomatoes. Woo. Lorelai prefers her tomato with coffee. Sookie is so happy she'll have year-round vegetables and will never be a slave to nature again. Jackson swears to grow anything her heart desires. Lorelai marvels at how much Sookie and Jackson were made for each other. Sookie and Jackson ask for some privacy as Sookie eats Jackson's vegetable. (Technically, the tomato is a fruit, but "eats Jackson's vegetable" is funnier. ["And here I am with the 'Trivial --> Tomato Lore file'! The Supreme Court actually declared the tomato a vegetable in the 1890s to settle the matter once and for all. You are correct, however, that strictly speaking it is a berry." -- Sars])
Paris cleans her printing press as there's a knock at the door. It's CuteDean, who kisses Rory. Paris is shocked, as she hadn't received the memo. CuteDean and Paris share an awkward hello. Rory sends CuteDean into her room and Paris pulls Rory back for a house meeting. "You're back with Farmer Boy? What gives? I thought he was married." Rory says he was. Not anymore. "Was." So everybody stop calling their love an affair. Apparently CuteDean annulled it or whatever, and now Rory's the one. Aren't we happy? Aren't they the Ross and Rachel of our lives? I can't tell what Paris says here after "Well, well, well." Is it "Ross returns"? Because that'd be funny if it was. Paris needs to have a sex talk with Rory now, because there's sex in the dorm. Paris would like to have adequate warning before the sex so she can wear her fancy, expensive headphones. She asks if Rory's a screamer, or if she's quiet. This is the most hardcore of any of the conversations this show has had, and I assume the Family Values Commission, or whoever it was that sponsored this show in the first place, now pretends they've never heard of Gilmore Girls. Rory doesn't want to talk about her sex life with Paris, even though she had no problem getting the scoop on Paris's dirty deeds. Paris asks for a three-minute warning. Rory wants to walk away, but Paris is nagging for a sign that Rory's about to take her clothes off. Rory gives a three-minute warning, and Paris runs away.
Doose's Market. Lane and the band are shopping. Brian is tallying up every purchase, requesting generic substitutes when possible. Greeked products always make me laugh. "Super Bran!" "Coca-Coca!" "Frosted Fakes!" MfTL refuses to use coupons, as they aren't rock-and-roll. He loads their cart with beer. Wouldn't you have thought Stars Hollow was in a dry county? Lane asks mfTL why he's stocking up on the booze. MfTL calmly explains that when you invite people over after a gig for some beer, they get pissed when there isn't any. Lane quickly translates "people" to mean "girls." MfTL says it is for girls. Lane tells him to get extra, and some for Jimmy Caan. Jackson says hello as he walks by. Lane hopes he's not there for beer, as mfTL has bought it all. Jackson says he's just here for diapers. Lane asks mfTL if any of his girlfriends are in diapers. "What is your problem?" mfTL asks. Lane grabs a container of milk, causing Brian to fret over the name brand.