Episode Report Card Niki: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Chaos Theory
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.22.2001
Down in the kitchen, Lily and Butterball go head to head. She struggles under its staggering eighteen pounds, and it looks for a second as though the turkey will prevail. Lily gets herself down low, though, and with a clenched, "God --!" she manages a stunning comeback, heaving Butterball onto the island countertop. Butterball's not going down that easily, though, and it flings itself right off the other side, skidding to a stop in front of Zoe and Raoul. They stare from the turkey to Lily, who's still breathless and doubled over from the fight. They're a little nervous about the crazy ragged lady in the pink flannel pajamas.
Cut to Karen lying in bed, staring vacantly. Wind chimes jingle outside her window, and she turns toward the sound. The lace curtains flutter in the breeze and transform from color to black-and-white. The camera elbows its way through them, and we find Soliloquy Karen waiting on the other side. With a fond smile, she recounts that her parents told her that when she was a little girl, she'd wake up early and run outside naked to the porch swing. "They said they'd wake up, and there I'd be, happily singing and swinging away." Karen looks wistful and adds that she has no recollection of it herself, or what it must have felt like. The ass-pole likes it that way.
Over at Manning Manor, Tiffany has joined Raoul in the kitchen, where she's regaling him with tales of her birth, and how stoned her mother was for it. She mutters that they could have switched her for all her mother would know. She wants to stay drug-free during her labor, so she can remember and describe every second of it for her kid. Raoul assures her that she'll have no problem. Because dealing with copper pipes makes him an expert on childbirth. Lily flies into the kitchen with a couple of Post-It notes struck on her shirt. She greets Tiffany and asks whether she'd like a drink. She reaches for the tap, catches herself, and chides, "Raoul!" What, they only drink tap water at Manning Manor? Highly unlikely. Tiffany assures Lily that she's fine, and Raoul promises he'll have the tap fixed soon. He asks how often Lily is planning to baste the turkey. "Most people say every half hour, but I do it more often," he says. He advises her to "add a sprig or two of sage to the bottom of the pan; it'll flavor the whole bird." Lily looks a little thrown, but thanks him nonetheless.
Judy flaps through the back door, waving a pink pastry box full of sugar and fat and other nasty things that signal emotional wreckage. She tries to hide the fact that tears are streaming down her face, but the others are onto her. Lily quickly moves toward her, asking if Judy is okay. Judy half-heartedly waves Lily away and mutters that she's okay. She's safe, though, since it seems Lily was only moving in for the pastry box, not a hug. As she puts the box on the counter, Lily glances toward the stove and sees a huge pot boiling over. She reacts as if it's nuclear sludge pouring out on her stovetop. Raoul wipes his hands and says he'll take care of it. Lily gratefully lets him. I wonder if Raoul is billing them hourly? It would explain his eagerness to do anything but actually fix the sink. Lily grabs Judy by the hand and pulls her into the dining room to get to the bottom of the tears.
Plunking down across from Judy, Lily orders, "Talk!" Judy quietly says that she doesn't think she'll be able to make it for dinner. She's all apologies as she explains that she can't handle having Sam there, even though she should be able to. Lily puts her foot down and says she's calling Rick -- she'd rather have Judy, her sister, at dinner, than Sam. Family ties aside, who wouldn't? Judy makes with the noble and says that she doesn't want Lily to do that; after all, Rick is her husband, and Sam is his partner. She says she just wants Lily to have the perfect Thanksgiving, and utters the three words Lily loves to hear: "You deserve it." Since it's Lily's first Thanksgiving with the new family, and since she has a house full of kids, Judy wants her to "have the best Thanksgiving ever." Lily tries to fight back her own tears. "What?" Judy asks. "I hate Thanksgiving," Lily chokes.