Episode Report Card Kim: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fait Accompli
By Kim | Season 10 | Episode 19 | Aired on 05.25.2010
All week I have been waiting to find out who was going to win the college dancing championship! Except that part where I forgot it even existed. I'm just going to FF this. We're all cool with that right? It's Purdue versus Utah Valley, and like it's even a question. I mean, Purdue is whatever and Utah Valley is like the world champions. So of course, they win the meaningless trophy. Can't a white girl get some sort of cash prize up in this piece? Ooh, they show a clip of what's going on backstage and Nicole and Derek are rehearsing while Evan and Anna are sitting there looking... kind of pissed off? Or maybe scared? They don't look happy, is what I'm saying. Read into that what you will.
Some "journalists" are going to give their opinions on the show. Mario Lopez, Regis and Kelly, Larry King, and other opinion-makers from the world of dance give their important opinions such as, "It's a diverse cast!" and "It's quite a competition."
Let's pay more attention to Kate Gosselin! Because otherwise she will wilt and die! She plugs her new shows. Please don't watch them. Even just to make fun of her. If we all agree to stop paying attention to her, maybe she will go away. Anyway, we get to see a clip package of Kate and Tony rehearsing their horrific paso doble for a reprise. Kate thinks there's too much walking around and asks Tony to make the choreography more difficult. So he does, and of course, she refuses to try to do it. And then she gets all "poor me" and talks about how people hate her and she doesn't know why. Um, exhibit A, this clip package. She claims she's going to throw herself into the dance, have fun, and laugh at herself. If that happens, it will be the first time any of those things have happened for her this season. I don't think she knows how to laugh at herself or have fun. Poor Tony. I almost don't want to watch this because it's going to be so terrible. You know what? It's BETTER. Tony took out that horrible lurching thing at the beginning and Kate remembers to point her toes and it's not good but it's better. And then it turns into "I Will Survive" and then Kate gets in some sort of lift and the camera is like up her nose and MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT GO AWAY I AM SCARED WHY IS KATE SO CLOSE TO THE CAMERA WHY IS IT LASTING TEN MINUTES???????? Did I die? Am I in hell? I will have nightmares about that. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Brown paper bag.
It's going to take me this entire clip package to recover from that disaster. Nicole and Derek are doing the jive for their knockout dance to show off their energy. Evan and Anna are doing the quickstep to take advantage of his technical expertise and precision. And it will be a competition. At least this time, when they cut to backstage, someone tipped off Evan and Anna that the cameras were on them so they could pretend to be rehearsing instead of staring off into space blankly.