Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Teen Sex Ruins Lives
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.24.2003
We get new jazzy la-la music as we watch Lorelai park her Jeep at Doose's market. Thanks for that.
Doose's Market. Kirk has dumped all of the mail on the ground and CuteDean has had it. He wants to pick up the mail that's for him, but Kirk won't let anyone touch anything. A crowd has gathered. Kirk is flustered. Lorelai sees her water bill. CuteDean says that Kirk has been on the ground for twenty minutes. Lorelai tells Kirk he has to sort the mail first. Kirk leans back on his knees and whines, "Everybody is always telling me what to do! Everybody else is always right! Well, I'm sorry, but I am the mail carrier in this town and I will carry the mail the way that I carry the mail. And if you don't like that then you can carry the mail. But you'll have to apply for the job first." He says that there's a test you have to take, and it's a hard test. Kirk then suffers a paper cut, shutting him up momentarily. Lorelai tells Dean she needs some non-drowsy allergy medicine. Dean tells her to check in the back with the aspirin. It's not there, so they must be out. Nine different kinds of beans, this store has, but only one allergy medicine. Dean says he'd tell her when they're getting more, but he hasn't gotten the mail yet. "Shut up!" Kirk hisses. Lorelai says she'll just get some when she gets to Hartford. She tells Dean to try to wrestle away her water bill. Dean tells Kirk he's got five more minutes to pick up the mail before Dean gets the mop. Kirk declares that this mail is the property of the United States government. This prompts the crowd to seize the mail, sorting it themselves.
Blurry establishing shot of "Hartford Drugstore." ["Hey, Pamie, you lived in Connecticut; you've probably been to that one drugstore in Hartford, right?" -- Wing Chun] Lorelai is so clearly at a Ralphs, since they didn't even bother to move the Ralphs sales cards off the rack. She searches through a few allergy medications, talking to herself the entire time. I imagine Lorelai just keeps a constant audible dialogue with herself no matter where she is. Lorelai makes a horrible mistake and puts the Zicam back on the shelf to grab some generic Benadryl. I have allergy issues, okay? Anyway, Benadryl's just going to knock her out, and Zicam is the best stuff I've ever sucked up my nose. People, go get you some Zicam if you know what's best for you. While I'm on the subject of myself, and Lorelai's only talking to herself, let me just be so bold as to point out that this scene could be a shout-out to me, since I ran into Michel at a drugstore in a very similar fashion as what we're about to see here. Lorelai rounds the corner and bumps straight into Max. "Max," she says. This reunion is brought to you by Claritin. Claritin, the gigantic ad just over Lorelai's shoulder, helping her to see Max more clearly. Non-Drowsy Claritin, now in non-prescription strength. Claritin. It's what Lorelai should be holding. Instead of Max. Claritin's some good shit, too, but Allegra is better. "I didn't know you...had a cold," Lorelai says to Max. He says he just recently found out himself. "Wow. You. Hi," Lorelai says back, like a Magic Johnson interview. Max explains that he's been in California, at Stanford, teaching a class. Lorelai asks what he's doing back in Hartford. He says his class ended, and everybody who's everybody's coming back for the Chilton Bicentennial. It's all everybody's been talking about for minutes. Lorelai reminds Max that it's Friday. He remembers that she must be off to a famous Gilmore dinner. He asks how it's going. She says they had to add an additional room for all the emotional baggage, but other than that, it's going fine. She says that Rory's good. Grades are good. Different boyfriend. Max can tell from one syllable that Lorelai really hates Rory's new boyfriend. And for this tiny exchange, I like Max. Then he loses me again by reading, "She's young, she'll move on, she's going away to college next year," without much emotion. As if any of us have forgotten she's going to college soon. You guys realize that Max and Lorelai are using five million words in the conversation that I'm describing, but I'm just "keeping it real" for you, right? Max and Lorelai both have dinners to get off to, so they say goodbye. Max walks away. Lorelai stands still for a while, thinking. Maybe she's wondering if she should go back and get the Zicam. Do it, Lorelai.