Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Not So New, Not Especially Improved
By Al Lowe | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.12.2005
It's nighttime when Lorelai comes home from...somewhere. Work? A date? I don't know. There are notes from Emily all over the house, which she tears up without reading. (Un)luckily, Emily has called and left a message on the machine, reading all the notes. She made copies. The condensed version is the same old thing: Lorelai's behavior is disgraceful, yada yada, bad daughter, etc. Lorelai listens, rolling her eyes, as she goes into Rory's room and starts throwing her daughter's things into a laundry basket.
Moments later, we see Lorelai bust into the bedroom of the sleeping Emily and Richard, and casually drop the basket on the floor. Richard wants to know why she's barging in in the middle of the night. "Mom just seemed extremely concerned about getting the rest of Rory's things," Lorelai says, explaining that she figured she'd better rush right over with them. Emily tells her to stop all this -- she knows that Lorelai hates her parents -- but Lorelai interrupts. "You were just being you," she says. "You couldn't help it." Emily wants to know what she's talking about, and Lorelai compares their behavior with the fable of the scorpion and the frog, concluding with "the scorpion says, 'Sorry, it's just my nature.'" She points to herself: "Frog." Points to her parents: "Scorpion." Good one, Lorelai. Lorelai goes on to congratulate her parents on finally getting their shot at raising a "new and improved Lorelai." Richard rolls his eyes and says that he knows Lorelai feels betrayed, but that they're all in it together to get Rory back on track, and they will need Lorelai's involvement. "My involvement ends here, with the laundry basket," she tells them. "I'm out. You've won. She's all yours...'Course, the laundry basket, I'm going to want back." Cold-hearted snake (or, frog, if you want to stay with that theme), she leaves.
At the diner, Luke is trying to close up while Kirk hops around, begging to get back the ring he sold Luke earlier. He thinks that was the ring Lulu had her eye on, too. Luke suggests that he pick another ring. "Well," Kirk says, "my back-up ring pulled through...plus, there's talk of her wanting to be buried with it." Luke is just about to escape when Babette comes running and screaming across the square and, in that time-honored tradition of busty women in a hurry, holding her boobs down as she runs. She needs confirmation on a rumor that there's been a rift between Lorelai and Rory. Luke wants to know who told her this. "Well, who else?" Babette gasps. "Eastside Tillie! That damn woman keeps trumping me." Luke says nothing, which confirms the rumor for Babette, who goes to full-on shrill, worrying that Lorelai is a basket case. Luke tries to calm her down and says that Lorelai has it completely under control. He heads off, while Babette still stands there, trying to catch her breath, looking like she's about to have a heart attack. Kirk sees his moment and sidles up: "Nice ring."