Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Liar, Liar
By Cate | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.07.2000
Anyway, Dopey agrees to take part in the interview and then asks to speak to SuperMom. He wants to know how to get blood out of a shirt. Annie freaks, asking if he's been shot. He says, "Yes, and my first concern is my shirt." SuperMom says, "That's not funny." Yeah, she's right, but it's not nearly as unfunny as most of the so-called jokes on this show. Anyway, Dopey's asking for advice because he has a patient who got a little blood on her shirt from a blood test. SuperMom tells him to use soap and cold water, and he repeats the advice aloud for plot-forwarding purposes, because a vapidly pretty blonde orderly is standing behind him, creepily staring at him while she listens to his side of the conversation. While Dopey's hanging up the phone, the orderly rushes over to the elderly patient, Mrs. Bronstein, and ingratiatingly tells her about the soap and water trick. The patient thanks them, and Dopey offers to walk her to the parking lot. The orderly says she will walk the patient out instead, since she's going in that direction anyway. However, it turns out the new orderly doesn't even know where the parking lot is. Wacky and convoluted? You bet. I think there is supposed to be some purpose to this poorly written scene, though. We learn that the patient's husband is on the hospital's board of directors, and as the blonde chick is escorting her out, she starts badmouthing Matt to Mrs. Bronstein, calling him "unstable" and "erratic." From this, we can establish that the orderly is out to get Dopey for some reason. I might as well tell you from the outset, though, that we never find out why.
At Casa Camden, the kids all walk into the kitchen, where RevCam informs them of the big interview ahead. They look less than enthralled with the prospect of becoming famous to all three readers of the Glenoak "Family" section of the paper. As they all troop past the CamRents to go upstairs, each foretells nothing but "trouble" from this interview. RevCam makes some stupid crack about the twins being obligated enough to him to do the interview. Annie says she will go upstairs and kick some ass.
Drill Sergeant Annie informs the children that they will indeed be submitting to the newspaper interview, and that they should spend some time thinking up things to say that will not be embarrassing. When SuperMom leaves, Mary says something about the CamRents having no idea what the real world is like. She adds, "Getting involved with the press is a bad, bad idea." Damn, much as it pains me to admit it, that was pretty funny. For those of you who haven't read Jessica Biel's Gear article and seen the photos accompanying it, you'll just have to take my word for it. Mary plays it off like she's talking about the White House scandal, though, which makes it even funnier -- until Simon starts talking about how much weight Monica Lewinsky's lost. There's a stoopid and confusing exchange about women and morals and diets, which causes Mary to say all condescendingly that Ruthie's too young for the conversation. I wait for Ruthie to bitch-slap Mary, which is what I always wanted to do as a kid when someone said I was too young for something or other. Alas, I wait in vain. Mary and Lucy take off, and Ruthie asks Simon who Monica is. Is this for real? When Ruthie asks about the difference between politics and government, Simon says, "The government is the law, and politics is the way we get around the law." Okay, Simon, sorry the brain thing didn't work out for you, but at least you've still got your boyish good looks to get you by. Ruthie and I both look perplexed by this point. Simon says he has to go. I hope he's not leaving to get a pen and paper to write down that government bon mot.