Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Refugee Camp Kwitcherbitchin'
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.02.2004
Roxanne explains that they're staking out a recently-robbed jewelry store, apparently on the hunch that the thief is as stupid as everyone else on this show and would try to rob it again. Lucy asks when Kevin will be home, to which Kevin says he doesn't know. So now Lucy starts whining about how she thought Kevin was supposed to be home early tonight so they could go grocery shopping and look at bank statements. I can't imagine why he'd try to get out of those fun-filled activities. Kevin takes off. Roxanne leans over to give Lucy a face full of neck, exposed by her low-cut sweater. It's like some kind of Amish cleavage shot. Nice try, Safe Family Viewing Patrol. Lucy gawks at the non-cleavage cleavage and says there's "nothing plain" about Roxanne's sweater. Is Lucy coming on to her? Roxanne chooses to leave before things get awkward and friendships are forever changed.
Ruthie and Peter walk back to the buses, Peter doing a ridiculously contrived backward-walk. Way to stage, director. Peter asks if all evidence of the hot dog is off his face; Ruthie says it is. But will they pick up on the "tell-tale hot dog smell?" Probably not, since I'd bet that Peter smells a lot like that all the time anyway. Ruthie looks away from Peter and raises her eyebrows in what I guess is supposed to be surprise. The buses are gone! Okay, yes, Ruthie and Peter's teachers should have been more careful with their headcounts before they left and realized that two students were missing. But really, if those two were your students, wouldn't you kind of hope for some sort of "accident" that meant you would never have to see them again? Peter starts to freak out and says he's going to get in so much trouble for missing the bus. "Am I too old to cry?" he wonders. Uh…yes. But more importantly, you're not a good enough actor to pull it off.
Ruthie suggests finding a phone and calling their parents, but Peter says he thinks they can get home on their own. He "reasons" that they're only a "couple hours away," so how hard can it be? Besides, if they can get home on their own, his parents might not know they missed their bus, and then he can avoid getting grounded "until marriage." Which is what, six months away? That's when November sweeps is, right? Plus, this will give Ruthie a chance to live that unstructured life she's been going on about wanting since this morning.
Annie's vigorous dough-rolling is interrupted by the arrival of whiny Lucy and her laundry basket. Lucy tells Annie that while Kevin is gone all night working with Roxanne, she has all this schoolwork to do, plus the laundry. "Is this what married life is all about," Lucy wonders, "years of laundry and cooking and aggravation and then you die?" "No, sometimes there's ironing," Annie says, and at first I thought she said "irony," to which I was all, "Yeah, Annie! Stick it to your whiny-ass loser daughter!" But, no. Also, Lucy? Even if you weren't married, you'd still have to do laundry just like any other full-time college student, most of whom don't have their parents' house to do it in. Annie tries to point out that Kevin does as much laundry as she does, and neither of them ever cooks, to which Lucy says it's just not fair whine whine whine whiiiiiiine. To shut her up, Annie introduces the concept of possessiveness of Kevin and jealousy of Roxanne back into Lucy's tiny brain, like, thanks a lot, Annie. That's just what I need. Lucy says this has nothing to do with Roxanne and Kevin working together, then starts whining again about all the work she has to do. Annie sees that the only way to make the madness end is to do Lucy's work for her, so she volunteers to do her laundry. Lucy tosses the laundry basket into Annie's arms, but turns down Annie's invitation to help her make a pecan pie. I hate Lucy.