Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Song Remains The Same (2)
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.01.2002
Back at Grams's, Pacey is cooking for Audrey and Jack as Audrey explains that she ditched class again. Is it wrong that I want her to flunk out? I mean, Daddy pulled strings to get her into a posh college and now she's not even attending the first day of class? It aggrieves the nerdy academian in me. Anyway, Jack and Pacey can't find a place to live. Oh, Jesus. Here we go again. Pacey wants to go convince Emma to let them live with her. Because a strange man trying to harass me into living with him would totally do the trick. Audrey points out that if Emma doesn't want to live with them, she doesn't -- oh, Jesus, I just can't do this anymore. This plotline is painfully dull and excruciatingly obvious. It's the season premiere and I'm already refusing to recap something. It's nice to get off to such a strong start.
CBWBH and Jen chit-chat. Man, he's bland. I'm sorry, but he is. So bland, in fact, that I think I shall refer to him as such. They're talking about how Jen lives with her grandmother; Blandy thinks it's "sweet." Jen speeds that everyone thinks it's sweet. "How do they know I don't beat her with a stick and tie her to the radiator all winter?" she asks. Blandy has no response to that. "Is this a cry for help?" he finally asks. But I don't think he means it as a joke, although it's actually a very funny line. "Do I look like I need help?" Jen stutters. Jen's doing a lot of speed-talking and stammering lately, and I'm not sure if it's a character choice or if Michelle Williams has picked up a new acting tic. Blandy drones that he thinks she'd be good at giving advice. Jen, for some reason, interprets this as him trying to convince her to join a religious cult, and goes into one of her deranged tic attacks. "Oh God. Oh no! It's not your fault. It's my fault. This has happened to me before. This religious thing…oh, God. No! Not God. Not God. I'm going to go now," she says. Seriously. I like Michelle Williams and all, but is Jen supposed to be, like, flighty and wacky now, or is she about to have some kind of psychotic break? Because I'm not sure if the new exaggerated tics and stammers are supposed to be cute personality bits or sad omens of a sure-to-be-poorly executed Very Special Episode on the horizon. Blandy stops her from running away. "I do want something from you. Several things, actually," he says, and asks her to sit back down. Jen agrees to "perch." And then she perches awkwardly in her seat. Blandy begins by saying that it's a difficult thing to phrase properly. "Have you ever heard of The Stand?" he asks. Jen starts to bolt. Is he a Stephen King groupie? "It's not a religion! It's a peer counseling program!" Blandy calls after her. No, it's not. It's a long fat book about the end of the world. Well, sort of. "You think I need COUNSELING?" Jen screeches. I do! I do! Bring back Tom Frost! ["God, for real. Maybe I'd actually watch the show." -- Sars] Blandy explains that he thinks she could GIVE counseling. "Oh, you mean help people?" Jen chirps. Blandy just wants her to come to an informational session. "And you'll be there?" Jen asks. Blandy will be. Jen promises to think about it.