Episode Report Card Niki: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Sixty-Minute Miracle
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.17.2002
We're aurally assaulted by the plucky guitars from the first instant. Judy and Lily are having lunch at the radio station. Lily asks how Sam is. She then asks whether Judy is pregnant yet. Judy tells her to "shut up," though nowhere near as emphatically as I do. Judy boasts that the doctor told her she has "perfect eggs," and that she's "very fertile." "And you're not rushing to use them?" Lily asks. Well, she is settling for Sam, isn't she, in the hope of beating her best-before date? Judy tells Lily that she's "so mean" and reminds her that Judy and Sam just got back together.
For the He Said installment, we cut over to some Chinese restaurant, where Rick and Sam are scarfing down food using chopsticks. "Judy and Sam," Rick says. "Yes," Sam agrees, cannibalizing a hunk of pork. "Sam and Judy," Rick says. Don't hurt yourself, Rick, it's never going to sound right, no matter how you say it. Sam says that he's taking Judy to his cabin this weekend. "What?" Rick asks. Sam: "I'm taking her to the cabin this weekend." Rick: "What?" Sam (accompanied by some form of sign language): "I'm taking her to the cabin this weekend." Rick: "What?" Sam heartily tells Rick to shut up, and they proceed to clash chopsticks over the moo-shu. The plucky guitars pluck on. With any luck, they'll break a string or two.
Back to She Said. Judy squeals that she hopes they get snow at the cabin. Lily simpers that she wishes she and Rick had a cabin, and says she wants to go. "Well, you're not invited," Judy says, loving the way the princess crown feels on her head for once. Lily says that she's jealous. Judy can barely contain her glee, beaming that Lily's never been jealous of her. Lily smiles indulgently and silently agrees. "Have you seen the kid?" she asks. Judy smiles and answers, "As a matter of fact, Sam's bringing him to dinner tonight." Lily gulps down her soda and says, "Wow. Very accelerated." Judy just gushes that she wants him to like her: "He's the cutest kid." Nice sell, Jude, but we all saw the Christmas episode, remember? Lily asks why Jamie wouldn't like her. "Uh, because I'm not his mother?" Judy suggests. Lily sighs and slaps on her headphones. "Well..." she says simply.
"Of course, I haven't told Jamie yet that I'm going away with [Judy]," Sam gurgles around a sticky, saucy mouthful. Rick flips to page 290 of Avoidance for Dummies, confirms his instincts, and asks whether Sam has to. Sam points out that he'd like the kid to know that Sam's with Judy now. "Oh, you mean because kids might have problems accepting new situations after divorce? I wouldn't know anything about that," Rick kids. Sam muses aloud, wondering what reason Jamie could possibly find not to like Judy. Rick's response is to drop a chunk of meat in his lap.