Episode Report Card Sobell: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT He's handy in a tight spot
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.14.2006
Most of Team Escarpara runs into a barn, obviously fresh from another near-miss with the authorities. Lincoln and Abruzzi agree they have to do something about T-Bag. Just then, T-Bag and Michael run into the barn. The other cons form a loose semi-circle around them. T-Bag begins asking, "What's going on? What's going on?" Linc rhino-charges him from behind, and T-Bag is soon bent over a convenient table. T-Bag's dropped all the light tenor lilt in his voice and is growling, "What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you doing?" C-Note and Linc restrain T-Bag as Sucre tries to break the chain between the cuffs with a pair of loppers. He tries repeatedly. T-Bag mutters, "I swear to God..." and Michael viciously shouts, "You swear to what?" Sucre says it won't work and T-Bag begins chortling. The super-tense music has crashed to a crescendo already and the little pervert's laugh is the biggest sound we hear. He says, "I guess it was just meant to be, eh, now, fellas?" Abruzzi -- who has been quietly hanging back the whole time -- begs to differ. We see him swing an ax over his head, then we switch to T-Bag's horrified expression. And then, on T-Bag's echoing, agonized scream, we go to commercials.
Commercials. Oh my Gawd, Mr. T is doing karaoke commercials for Comcast? How excellent! Will he be joined by Dirk Benedict and Dwight Schultz soon? Dare I dream?
When we come back, Abruzzi's shrugging, all, "What? I was thinking outside the box." He says, "He's lucky I didn't take this to his head." Sucre gasps, "You cut his -- you cut his --" He can't even finish the sentence. He just points to T-Bag's hand on he ground. Well, I will say this for the Mob; they know the most direct path from A to B. Michael's all, "Damn." He's holding his own hands to confirm they're still there. Sucre is still gibbering. Linc hisses for Sucre to shut up, as the farmer who owns this place is now standing outside, calling out a hello. I like how he's managed to keep a cool head during all this. I can't figure out if it's because Linc's naturally good at winging it in extra-legal situations or because he has every confidence in Michael, but I like it.
So the farmer's calling hello, and the only sound we hear is T-Bag quietly sobbing as he regards his hand from across the room. Aww, he's sad because he won't be able to remember his nines tables anymore! Everyone stays still. The farmer takes off, and Linc rallies all the two-handed members of Team Escarpara. Sucre protests. "We can't just leave him like --" "You want to stay here, be my guest!" C-Note snaps. They run. T-Bag is left behind, weeping and very probably in shock.