Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Lost Puppy Dog
By Sara M | Season 16 | Episode 8 | Aired on 04.03.2008
Malakal minus Ozzy arrive back at camp. "Who took that really hard fall?" Ami asks. Um...duh. I know they've got similar hair, Ami, but the fact that Erik wasn't wearing a shirt should be enough for you to tell them apart. Ami asks if he's okay while ominous music plays. "No," Erik says. He says it hurt "like crazy" and lifts his shirt for the ladies to see. There's no mark there, although I'm sure he got a nice bruise at some point later on. Ami tells us that she likes Erik and wishes they could have won the challenge today, but since they didn't, he's going tonight. "I don't see any way out for him," Ami says confidently.
Happy music brings us to the Airai camp, where Eliza says "Jason, that challenge was made for you," and they even subtitle it just so we can all know what dumbshits Malakal were not to sit him out. It goes to Jason's head, as he tells us he was the MVP of the challenge and brought back four of the five flags. He's still concerned about his position in the tribe, but the fact that he has the hidden immunity idol helps. Hee hee hee. I can't wait for him to play that thing. The look on Probst's face! Delicious. He says he's not going to count on any alliances and just compete hard. Wow, that sounds like a really smart plan that has worked for ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IN THE HISTORY OF THIS GAME. Parvati tells us that she thinks the key to the team's success is that Eliza and Jason knew they were "on the outs" and therefore the ones going home tonight if they lost, so they both gave their all. Why does everyone hate Eliza so much? Why can't she be on the ins?
A boat pulls up with four boxes of pizza (I hope they save some for Alexis!), a bucket of beer, and some garlic bread that Probst totally forgot to mention during the challenge and recovers for by saying they just decided to throw it in. Eliza tells us they're in heaven and she can't stop smiling. I think the beer might have helped with that. Meanwhile, that pizza, like all pizzas on this show, looks kind of gross. But I'll bet after you've been starving for twenty days it looks like the best thing ever. James impresses everyone by opening the beer bottles with his teeth. Ouch. Jason tries to do it too, but can't. Ha ha! Stick to slaughtering rats, douchebag. By the way, I've known one person who could open beer bottles with his teeth. But then he couldn't drink any of them because he was an alcoholic. I just can't believe Probst was cruel enough to give them all those beers and no bottle opener. He must really hate Jason.