Episode Report Card Keckler: A- | 77 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Stormship Troopers
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2002.12.18
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.All I want for Christmas is a good Enterprise episode and I got it! From the writing team that brought us "Dead Stop" no less, Quantum and Qrew run into the perfect storm and all eighty-some of them -- plus Porthos and Phlox's medical pets -- have to hunker down in a closed-quarters catwalk near the toasty warp core. After a few days, the crew gets a bit ripe and ornery but luckily, alien invasion shows up in time to distract them from their petty movie choice and showers snipes. Not realizing that the crew is still alive and sweating in the ship's innards, the SS trooper-types proceed to take over the ship, but Quantum decides it is time for him to do a little heroic furrowing. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
All in all, not bad. Thankfully, the writing team of Sussman and Strong were on board for this ride. If they kept them chained to their desks, feeding them only occasionally for every episode they ink, the franchise would be swimming in gold-pressed latinum. Now, if they could only turn their attention to the insipid dialogue...
Quantum logs that they've found yet another uninhabited planet that they can't wait to slap their American flag on. Yawn. Trip babbles about rafting in some canyon that's bigger than the Grand: "T'Pol says it only gets dark four days a month because of the binary suns. We'll have plenny of daylight left after we're dun workin' ev'ry nihte." "There's a controversial theory that our own star system is also a binary system, and that the name of the other star is 'Nemesis,' a.k.a. 'The Death Star.' They think a potential explanation for the global extinction that happens every twenty-six million years is a result of Nemesis coming by Earth," Mathra tells me. Can you see why I married him? Quantum agrees they should have plenty of time for "R&R" after they finish their surveys of the planet. How can you get adequate R&R on a planet that doesn't get dark and therefore doesn't really allow sleep? More than likely, after this R&R, the qrew will come back to the ship totally exhausted because their circadian rhythms are all messed up. They'll need a vacation from their vacation. T'Pol beeps Quantum with an incoming message from an alien ship. "New planet, new aliens -- banner day," Trip comments. Shut up, Trip. Some aliens come on the sh'pod screen and tell Quantum that, "considering the circumstances," they'd like asylum aboard Enterprise ASAP. Quantum asks them what in heck-fire they're jawing about. "The neutronic wavefront -- it's almost here!" the aliens inform them. Is it neutronic wavefront season already? I don't even have my dilithium tires yet. Trip can't find anything on the sensors, but the aliens tell him they won't be able to detect anything for a few more minutes. Because it's a storm that can travel "at high warp." Mathra moves over to allow for Plot Device and his Feather Boa Of A Natural Phenomenon That Can Travel Faster Than Light to sit down. "Once we're aboard, I suggest you go to warp seven, immediately," the alien bosses. May-Back-In-The-Saddle-Again gives Quantum a concerned look from the sh'pod's pilot seat. "Our top speed is warp five," Quantum admits. Someone's face is red!
Mathra shuffles out from under the couch, crumbs and a broken burnt sienna crayon clinging to him, and asks, "Ears? Out of danger?" I tell him soothingly that the theme song has passed. "I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now, what do you think of my solution?" Mathra coughs out a few dust bunnies.