Episode Report Card Sobell: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jacob Have I loved, Yet Esau I Have Hated …
By Sobell | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 05.01.2009
We cut to Michael calling his mom on Sandinsky's phone. Christina answers, maternal pique seeping through, "I hope you're ready to talk." Michael would like to talk about Sandinsky, whom Christina dismisses as "He's an old friend of mine. A bit of a bore, don't you think?" She tries to flatter Michael with attention, asking him for a face-to-face meeting. Christina's right-hand man -- previously dubbed "slick goon" and now to be referred to as Slick -- is busy tracing Michael's call, and he gives Christina the high sign regarding Michael's location right as Michael sulks that he's not interested in meeting his mom unless her idea of a "Sorry I Faked My Death And Wrecked Your Childhood" present is Scylla. Christina asks Michael what he hopes to accomplish, and Michael snaps that he wants her answer when he calls back in ten minutes, or that's the last she'll hear from him. Or maybe they'll just run into each other in ten minutes, since Slick has nailed Michael's location in an industrial park right up the coast, and Christina's all, "Let's go."
Meanwhile, Vincent Sandinsky is on the receiving end of LINCOLN SMASH. You know, typing that out as I am while contemplating how to turn this dreary episode into a drinking game, it's occurred to me that I need a mixologist to make up a Lincoln Smash. There are already plenty of other mixed drinks with the words "crash," "smash" and "muddle" in their names. So why not a Lincoln Smash? Post the recipe in the forums, and we can all hoist one during the next episode the first time Lincoln lays someone out. ANYWAY, to get back to what's happening on screen, Sandinsky is insisting, "I never worked for the [One World Conspiracy]," and T-Bag darts in to snipe, "Six words that never proved true." Robert Knepper, you are a gem. Bless you for still trying on this show, even after it's evident the writers have given up. (Oh, look, I'm foreshadowing!) And now it's Mahone's turn to get a little shouty: "This is over! Look around! What are you doing here? What are you doing here?" I ... I feel like Mahone is channeling what I shout at the TV screen whenever watching an episode of this show lately. Anyway, Don Self and T-Bag get distracted with a "perhaps Michael is lying" hypothesis, and Mahone -- after rolling his eyes and wondering why an angry God has saddled him to work with these idiots -- reminds everyone that Michael's agenda is nearly the same as theirs, what with the "get Scylla away from Christina" item atop the to-do list. Linc cocks his gun and asks Sandinsky one more time where Scylla is, and begins to count down from three.